One Head Is Better Than Two

The tension is building. This could be it-this could be the week that little Carl and Clarence Aguirre give up the life of sideshow stardom and get those little conjoined heads of theirs separated for good.

Lead surgeon Dr. James Goodrich, who's been playing the role of the carnival talker these past 11 months, says that if all goes according to plan, the fourth, and possibly final, operation to separate the boys will take place this Wednesday. It may not be the final operation, of course. They were saying the same thing before the third operation. The team of surgeons will decide as things progress whether or not they should go ahead and take that final step.

We're guessing that they won't, and that a fifth surgery will follow in a few months. Then a sixth a few months after that. Then a seventh.

The Aguirre brothers are worth a hell of a lot more to the Children's Hospital at Montefiore (and to Dr. Goodrich) conjoined than they will be after their separation. After that, they'll just be two kids with big holes in their skulls, but now they're a star attraction. Both the doctor and the hospital have gotten a year's worth of uplifting, heartwarming publicity out of those kids. Most Siamese twins you hear about for a week or two, tops, right around the time of the marathon separation surgery. But these kids have been milked for almost a full year now. And Dr. Goodrich, we must say, has handled his role masterfully, playing the whole thing as if it were a sideshow, but in a more legitimate theater. We're certain that charitable donations to the hospital haven't suffered as a result, either.

So what the hell? We say this "fourth surgery" should involve nothing more than changing the twins' diapers. Afterwards, the doc and his crew should pack 'em up, and head out on the road in a trailer outfitted like an operating room. At each little town they come to, they could set up shop for a day or two, charge a couple bucks admission, and perform the "next crucial step" in the "ongoing, delicate operation." They'd make a mint!