New York Press v. L Magazine at Gleason's Gym.

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"Break his fucking nose!"

"Make him your bitch!"

"Pretty boy can't take a punch!"

Such were the words of encouragement issued by the New York Press camp at Gleason's Gym on Wed., Oct. 29. More than 250 people gathered to witness 12 rounds of clunky but bloody amateur boxing between this newspaper and the L magazine.

The event had its origins in a "feud" between editors-in-chief Jeff Koyen and N. Scott Stedman. Koyen made an offhand remark about the L's slim chances for long-term survival, prompting Stedman-known for his ability to sniff a publicity stunt a mile away-to challenge the New York Press staff to a soccer match. When Koyen refused, Stedman reverted to form and hired a publicist. Eventually, both parties agreed to step into the ring.

To be fair, the ladies of the L fought well. What they lacked in technique, they brought on with verve. On the undercard, Daniel Stedman (Scott's little brother) faced off against New York Press production manager Chris Murray, who had just four weeks to train. Both men fought with tenacity and dignity that impressed all in attendance, and though Murray lost in a split decision, he gave the night its first taste of blood. Stedman blood.

Next up, New York Press friend Alex Muzich stood up to the freshly waxed and freakishly proportioned Bob Whiteside, an L magazine manboy clearly (and curiously) proud of his Chelsea-perfect abs and Led Zeppelin tattoos. Again, both men fought hard; a split decision awarded the fight to Whiteside.

The most technically astute match came at the hands of New York Press senior sales associate Spencer Sharp and Johnny Diamond, who somehow occupies full-time hours as an editor at the wispy L. The fighters, equally matched for size, exchanged solid blows for three rounds and by all rights should have been handed a draw by the judges. Instead, the fight went to Diamond in another split decision.

The first round of the headliner, Koyen v. Stedman, was the most aggressive and nasty two minutes of the night, with the Press editor landing more blows and controlling the ring. When the first bell rang, Stedman was battered. But Koyen was showing fatigue. The second and third rounds featured the weary fighters exchanging an impressive number of hits, again with Koyen showing better technique. Stedman, however, stayed on his feet and continued to jab, occasionally finding his mark.

The judges called the fight a draw, causing unrest in the audience. Though New York Press agrees with the crowd that the bout should have gone to Koyen, we abide by the decision. Koyen has declined a rematch, citing the immediate reintroduction of fried foods and liquor into his diet as a motivating factor.

New York Press considers the hatchet buried.

Except, that is, for the prick in the orange shirt in the L corner who was shrieking like a menstrual cat with its tail caught in the door. We'd be happy to slap that bitch's face anytime.

Much thanks out: Bruce Silverglade, Chuck Colletti, Chrissy Beckles, Bobby Beckles, Grant Seligson, Alex Muzich, Rich, Santos, Alaister, Mike, John Douglas, Wesley and everyone else at Gleason's Gym who helped get these white boys in fighting shape.

Props to the photographers: Nick Bilton, Robert Ecksel, Thierry Gourjon, Andrei Kallaur, Scott Lizama and Jennifer Rodriguez.