Miss Rheingold 2004
MISS RHEINGOLD 2004 It was the climax, and no one was watching. On a tiny wooden stage in 13 Little Devils, a bar on the Lower East Side, stood Kate Duyn. The slim sandy blonde wore a red sash and glittery tiara. Next to her, a petite raven-haired Jewess named Dani Marco. Between them was Tom Bendheim, chief executive of Rheingold Beer, making the big announcement to a room in mid-yawn.
"I think everyone here tonight agrees with me that I'm a lucky man to be surrounded by these lovely ladies," he said in a monotone, his forehead shining under a combover.
In the audience, 15 open-bar bottom feeders, P.R. flacks and a European photographer nodded numbly. The two girls-Miss Rheingold 2003 and Miss Rheingold 2004-fidgeted under the red lights.
"Ladies and gentlemen," Bendheim began, sounding like a proctologist after the day's 10th appointment, "I'd like to announce Miss Rheingold 2004, Dani Marco."
Dani Marco smiled. A sparse clapping followed. A camera or two flashed. Marco said "thank you" twice. When the photo ops were over, the bar herd moved into action.
"I'm here for the free beer. What else can you say?" said Matt, 26, a freelance production assistant. "Maybe if they had a wet t-shirt contest, I'd pay attention."
What do you think of Miss Rheingold? I asked a pretty woman named LaToya at the bar.
"Not really much of anything. I'm just drinking free alcohol after work," she said. "It's been a long day, and I need a drink."
A crowd of hearty drinkers rolled in fashionably late: slumming corporates in button shirts; Hanson-hipsters wearing their free Rheingold tucker hats backwards; women with impeccable bosoms dancing to "Crazy in Love"; broke twenty-somethings tipping crumpled dollar bills every third beer.
Dani Marco, Miss Rheingold 2004, spent the evening manning a Rheingold-filled cooler, cracking beers for two swarthy men who looked like they came from a Mafia casting call. I asked her if she was excited.
"Actually, I found out in November," she said, smiling. "Oops. Maybe I wasn't supposed to say that."
It's okay, I assured her. Plans?
"Oh, I'm really an actress, so I hope this leads to something else. I'm getting a billboard on the Long Island Expressway!"
That's great, I said. Final words?
"Drink up."