Lords of Acid

When I first got to college, I lived on the same floor as the girls' rugby team. Not wanting to get beat up in college by the same kind of kids that beat me up in high school, I shut my door and blared Lords of Acid on a nightly basis. The Lords are my savior. Not only did the rugby team not beat my punk ass, but they stayed far away from room 203.

To s&m music enthusiasts' delight, Belgian rave king Praga Kahn has spread his seed yet again and named the little bastard Farstucker. It's one big, fun-loving orgy. The first track, "Scrood Bi U," exemplifies fornication inspiration. The aural tremor builds, growing more impatient as the latest Lords vocalist Deborah Ostrega muses, "I wanna be screwed by you, but anyone else will do."

As opposed to the evil guitars and flogging bass of the synth hardcore, Mary-ram-my-little-lamb Voodoo-U and Lust, Farstucker dives headfirst into hyper electronica and teases with loops of dizzying, clubby techno. In other words, you'll probably dance safer to this album. There's less psychotic ecstasy and more lecherous bitch-lick-my-stiletto groove on tracks like "Sex Bomb," "Lucy's F*CK*NG Sky" and "A Ride With Satan's Little Helpers."

On the whole, the lyrics and vocals are scant, letting the music do 99 percent of the dirty work. But when words are used, this is still the band with the most vile, unholy, raunchy lyrics. The rock track "Rover Take Over" is an ode to butt sex that could make Snoop Dogg bury his bone. The chorus chants, "I feel so alive/Come take me from behind/I feel wet and wild/Wanna do it doggie style." Unfortunately, the Lords decided to write a vampire track, which was probably meant to add spooky danger to the mix. Instead, we get Praga Kahn mumbling some spoken-word thing and Ostrega shouting, "I wanna feed you now, you gotta kiss me now." The title of the song is "Kiss Eternal." Zzzzzz. The song most likely to be a karaoke hit is "I Like It," referring to your boyfriend wearing lingerie. It sounds like it was conceived somewhere between Devo and Lesley Gore's "It's My Party."

The Lords of Acid just want you to dance and lose those pesky inhibitions. Take comfort in the orgasmic moans scattered throughout Farstucker, and let your inner master/slave come out. The album is a great score for your kinky escapades, either by yourself or with another or with another and their friend's friend if that's your thing. And if you're afraid to experiment in any aspect of your life, don't worry, I hear Aerosmith has a new album out.