why i'm not ashamed to move back in with my parents

I didn't grow up in NYC, but my parents moved to West 96th Street from Livingston, NJ, a few years ago while I was in college. Most people are amused that my parents moved into the city after living in the suburbs for 20 years. Don't most families follow the opposite trajectory?

My parents have always been very active people, and while the suburbs were a great place for me and my siblings to grow up, there wasn't a lot left for them to do there after we went to college. My little brother was still in high school when my parents moved to NYC, but he wanted to transfer to the Rudolf Steiner School in NYC. It was always my parent's intention to come to the city after we all went to college, but my little brother's desire to change schools sped up the process.

After graduating from Hampshire College, I worked as a freelance writer and part-time debate teacher to save up some money to move out of my parents' place. It took me six months after college to get all the finances together, find a place and roommates to be able to move out. Six months was a little longer than I planned it to be, but it could have been much worse. At the time, I really wanted to live on my own in the city more than anything. My parents actually liked that I was home since I had been away for four years. Fortunately for me, they are nothing like the Syracuse, New York couple who sued their 30-year-old son in an effort to get him to leave.

At first, I found that being home, as an adult, was very annoying. I was working non-stop managing blogs for clients from my laptop. Having my mom nagging me to put the dishes away, clean up clutter or walk the dog during my work hours made it a lot harder to focus. I tried working from nearby cafes and coffee shops, but finding space is always competitive, and the Wi-Fi at Whole Foods on 100th and Columbus is not reliable (I hope management is listening).

After six months, I moved to 124th Street in Harlem, and it felt good to rent my first apartment in the city and take a step forward with my adult life. I was living with three random roommates — we found each other on the roommate matching app Diggz and the NYC Facebook Gypsy Housing group. One of these roommates became one of my best friends, but the other two didn't work out for various reasons.

What I've learned over the past two years is that if you're not friends or friendly with your roommates, it will lead to a toxic living environment. A lot of people say you don't need to be friends with your roommates, but I disagree. If you're friends with your roommates and have healthy boundaries, everything about your living situation becomes so much more enjoyable. Having neutral roommates or worse makes going home a lot less fun.

After a year and a half of living in Harlem and Bushwick, I'm actually excited to move back home with my parents. By moving home, I get more money to invest in my business and creative projects. If anything, my social life gets enhanced because I have more to spend on going out in the city. And I don't lose privacy. I had just as much privacy living at home in the city versus not living at home in the city. My room in Bushwick didn't even have a door. I've learned that I don't need privacy as much as I think — and I'm a pretty introverted person. If I do need privacy, there's a million places I can go, other apartments to stay at, and hotels I can rent.

I'm glad I moved out when I did, but I'm a lot more patient with myself — and my parents — now that I'm returning home. Living at home simply gives me the best chance to succeed with my business, personal and creative goals. I've even found a coffee shop to work at that always has space (it's a secret).

I'm truly grateful my parents are happy to have me stay with them.

Matt Rosenblum is the owner of Advanced Life Coach Marketing, which helps life coaches grow their practices, create online courses and more.