Legislating Niceness Legislating Niceness When it was announced ...
When it was announced last week that education officials and the City Council wanted to pass new legislation that would prohibit bullying in the schools, we thought they were just now jumping on the nationwide bandwagon that got rolling after the Columbine massacre.
Our immediate reaction was, to what end? To ensure that kids get their education in an environment that's kind, pleasant, friendly, accepting and supportive? One where every individual is treated with respect, no matter what kind of freak they might be? Fine. That sounds great, actually. More book-learning goes on that way.
What happens when these molly-coddled kids graduate and learn that the world is chock full of bullies of every shape and size? On the streets, in their offices, sometimes in their own homes? How will they cope? And what of the bullies themselves? After all those years of repressing their bullying tendencies?the rage and frustration building up internally with each passing day?what happens when they step out into a world where they're free to behave the way they want?
You're looking at a future full of helpless whiners and brutal serial killers who'll prey upon them more savagely than they ever would have in a school hallway. It'd be carnage.
The real fear behind legislation like this, of course, has nothing to do with the bullies themselves?it has everything to do with the kids who are bullied. How many of them are going to show up in the cafeteria armed to the teeth, not willing to take it anymore? And how many are going to run home and hang themselves in the closet? It's those kids who have school administrators across the country shitting their pants?those kids who, one day, decide to escape or fight back by whatever desperate means are available?and the multi-million-dollar lawsuits that inevitably follow.
That's what's been behind similar legislation in other towns, and so we figured it was behind this most recent talk here in New York, too. Then we took a cue from Paul Harvey and read the rest of the story.
The proposed policies, it was reported, would prohibit "harassment based on race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, physical appearance and mannerisms." One city councilman was quoted as saying, "Our teenagers must be sent a clear message that we will not tolerate any kind of slurs or bullying."
It's his use of the word "slurs" that was the giveaway?and the public hearing last Tuesday confirmed it. They weren't talking about the science geeks who got beat up a couple times a week after school for being science geeks, They were talking about those students who were called names based on whatever social identity the student had adopted for him- or herself, whose feelings were hurt as a result, and who then ran crying to the police to report a "bias incident."
Well, boo fucking hoo, we say. Deal with it. The world can be ugly and people can be mean.
Then it became clear that there was indeed some bandwagon-jumping here, but not the kind we expected.
The city council's just shifting their (and the local media's) newfound fascination with "bias crime" down a notch. Moving it off Staten Island and into the public schools, where kids are sometimes called "queers."
Our guess is, the council will get bored with the idea before too long and forget about it. Thank God for that?we're a litigious-enough people as it is?why do we need to start training kids toward that end in high school?
East River Tolls: Stupid Idea, or Really Stupid Idea?
Finally, Mayor Bloomberg is starting to use his brain, reversing his support for the asinine idea of installing toll booths on East River bridges leading into Manhattan. Yes, the proponents are correct that tolls would reduce traffic in the city and raise more money, but so too would pedestrian toll booths on the avenues, right? Surely they'd reduce sidewalk congestion and raise tons of money.
It would be a patently unfair and ridiculously inefficient thing to do.
Note to our good mayor: Any plan to raise millions of dollars that requires millions of tax dollars is retarded. City Hall should opt instead for intelligent, targeted taxation, such as reinstating the stock transfer tax (which levies a fractional fee for all stock transactions). It would raise gobs of cash and cost very little to implement.
Oh yeah, and why not legalize marijuana already?
Ain't Our Competition
From the good people at Tribune Co., owners of Newsday and the Los Angeles Times, comes amNewYork, a free daily newspaper designed to attract younger readers. How we do know it's meant for youngsters? Why, just check out these ledes from Friday's edition:
Say scam!
Scores of New Yorkers lured by promises of big money and glamour forked over thousands to predatory talent agents, state watchdogs said yesterday.
Halle Berry will be taking it all off for her next project. No, this isn't a "Monster's Ball" redux?this time, it's all about hair.
It's getting harder and harder to keep track of Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst.
"Harder" and "Limp"?together? Stop it guys, you're killin' us!
But enough with the jokes. The editors of amNewYork won't shy away from important issues. Take, for instance, their stand on racism:
Nobody likes a bigot, and that includes us here at amNewYork.
Dude. We are, like, so there.
Give 'Em Shelter
Is Carroll Gardens big enough for hairy men in wife-beaters, statues of religious icons, social clubs and a shelter for battered Asian women? Apparently not.
The New York Asian Women's Center plans on opening a four-story shelter in November. Earlier this month (which is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, by the way), approximately 75 pot-and-pan-banging, chanting Carroll Gardens residents protested the project.
They're not just rallying. They've plastered the neighborhood with "stop the shelter" posters, with many naming the shelter's proposed location?which was intended to be undisclosed in order to, oh, protect the residents who are, you know, battered women!
Opponents have made the location public on fliers, posters and on a poorly designed website (the address was recently removed, but the street name and pictures of the building are still up).
Nominally, the main reason the residents?organized under the umbrella of Concerned Citizens of Carroll Gardens?oppose the shelter is a matter of zoning. As planned, the shelter will be capable of accommodating 20 individuals and their children, but the building is zoned for far fewer residents than that. They also complain that the red exit signs on the building's first floor and the extra garbage will make the building conspicuous.
Their website states that Carroll Gardens residents "don't want to see negative elements hanging around the area, such as upset husbands or disgruntled boyfriends." One protestor told Page Two that she worried about the rows of hedges surrounding the building, speculating that scorned abusers could lurk in their shadows and threaten the neighborhood.
The New York Asian Women's Center currently operates three shelters. According to spokesperson Kyung Yoon, the group has not had a violent incident in its 20-year existence.
Scooping the WSJ
On oct. 9, the Wall Street Journal sucker-punched Apple Computer by dissecting the poor economics of their iTunes downloadable music service. In spite of the media hype and surge in Apple's stock price resulting from the launch of iTunes, things are not as rosy as many investors would like to believe.
Of the 99 cents per downloaded song Apple charges users, the company keeps less than 10¢ after doling out 65¢ to the appropriate record company and then covering marketing, credit card and technical costs. The inflated value of Apple's stock, said the WSJ, is based on a false premise, and the service won't provide a solid revenue source. The Journal also declared that even if Apple uses iTunes as a Trojan horse to sell more iPods, the arrival of Dell's iPod knock-off and a legal version of Napster will mean even less revenue as the market matures.
An interesting article, but we couldn't help feeling as if we've read it before. Perhaps that's because four months ago, our new friends at Bully (bullymag.com) published an article with the same exact premise and analysis, right down to the dissection of the 99¢-per-download revenue.
Nice to see that the "world's most trusted and reliable daily newspaper" took three months to get it together.
On Monday, Oct. 6, police in Queens tried (amazingly enough) to ticket a man for blasting his car stereo at eardrum-bursting volume. Instead of turning down the music out of simple neighborly consideration, the man wrestled the cop until his gun discharged (hurting no one), jumped in his vehicle, and clipped the officer as he sped away.
The officer got away with minor head and neck injuries. The music-loving asshole simply got away.
Also on Monday, in other vehicle-related news, there was a terrible three-car accident in front of Saks at about 4:30 p.m. A firetruck was trying desperately to make its way through the 50th St. traffic. Shocking as it may seem, a cab driver actually tried to do the right thing by pulling out of the way. Unfortunately, this involved turning against the light onto 5th Ave.
The cab was broadsided by a minivan, then slammed into an SUV, which, to no one's great surprise, tipped over against the fence in front of Saks.
After the dust had settled, as if to prove what you can expect in this country for trying (if not always successfully) to do what's right, the driver of the minivan removed one of her high-heeled shoes and hurled it at the cabbie's skull. One witness reports that she then shrieked, "You ruined my car, you broke my leg and I'm taking you for everything that you got!"
We don't doubt for a second that she'll try. (Gee, we wonder how the folks in that SUV are doing.)
In yet further proof that cars lead to rudeness and rudeness leads to trouble, at about 6 p.m. on Tuesday the 7th, two cars were on the FDR's 96th St. offramp. Well, as these things happen far too often, one car sort of cut off the other in the mad rush to get home. Both cars stopped, and the drivers?city parks officer William Martinez and the unfortunately named Nayyar Butt?both stepped out of their vehicles to share a few pleasantries. Both men then decided that they each wanted to show the other something, and returned to their respective vehicles.
With the Yankees in the playoffs, Officer Martinez thought Butt might be interested in seeing the baseball bat he had with him. Butt, meanwhile, seeing as Martinez was an officer, was certain he'd be thrilled to see the metal anti-theft device stashed in his car.
Before you can say "Jiminy Crickets," Butt had a broken wrist, and Officer Martinez was under arrest.
And in what is undoubtedly this week's most blatant example of why it's important to be polite to one another, a 50-year-old man entered the lobby of a building on E. 14th St at around 5 a.m. on Sunday, Oct. 5, closing the front door behind him. Seconds later, he heard someone else knocking on the door. Opening it, he found a very frustrated fellow standing outside.
"Why didn't you hold the door?" the man asked, before plunging a knife into the 50-year-old's chest and running away.