Koester/Hold Steady at Northsix; Designers/Illustrators' New Williamsburg Gallery; "Hot Monkey, Hot Ass!" Thursdays at Ivy South; The Witnesses at Mercury; Oakley Hall at Pete's; Hula, et al., at Mercury; Trevor Griffiths' Comedians; Ben's Sixth-Annual Ma

Steve Koester can sort of sound like Tom Petty, and his band Koester plays trippy songs that examine the disharmonic convergence between reality and bullshit in this 21st century. Their latest record is called, appropriately, The High Highs The Low Lows, and it's spacey and psychedelic, discordant but calming. If you get up really close when the band plays Northsix on Wed., Jan. 22, you'll be able to examine all their cool sonic toys, but you should be able to see Steve Koester's guitar pyrotechnics no matter where you stand. The bill also features the debut of the Hold Steady, which includes former Lifter Puller frontman Craig Finn. Guess this means that all the weirdos you'll see standing by the stage might be part of the 311 music critics from Minnesota who now live in Brooklyn. 66 N. 6th St. (betw. Kent & Wythe Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-599-5103, 9 p.m., $8.

We've heard that the Saturday night electroclash parties at Luxx-which used to draw a local gay crowd-have gotten a little too East Village. Put another way, they're tired and the cover's too high. Fortunately, one of that party's promoters, DJ Spencer Product, and his pal Matt Fury, have started a cool new weekly dance party at a cool new space far from the hipster-infested Bedford Ave. scene. "Hot Monkey, Hot Ass!" bills itself as a party for "punk ass" folks who appreciate punk, electro and rock tunes. The dancefloor is on the small side, but that just makes it easier to make new friends later on. We love the banquettes in the back room, the well-placed candles and the sleek, semi-translucent bathrooms. Plus, the punk rock bartenders know how to make 'em mean. Thursdays, at Ivy South, 270 S. 5th St. (Havemeyer St.), Williamsburg, 718-599-5623; 10, $3.

The next "it" band to break out of the boroughs? We're rooting for the Witnesses, who testify to the power of women on backup vocals and a retiring Keith Richards type on guitar (the drummer is a former member of the wildly overrated Mooney Suzuki). They sound like they might break into "Tumbling Dice" any second. (Please break into "Tumbling Dice" any second!) Now, if we could only get the chick on keyboards to stop doing that same move over and over-you know, the bend deep in the knees, really feel it and then forward again? And how about a bit a motion in the front man? Jesus, gesture at us or something! No, no, not you, Keith. You're just fine. Thurs., Jan. 23, at Mercury Lounge, 217 E. Houston St. (betw. Ludlow & Essex Sts.), 260-4700; 7, $8.

Okay, we'll be honest here-we've never heard the Brooklyn-based musical ensemble Oakley Hall. We don't have the slightest idea what they sound like. But in this day and age, when bands no longer seem to put much effort into naming themselves, we do at least appreciate a band who've chosen to name themselves after one of our favorite obscure writers. Hall-author of The Bad Lands, The Coming of the Kid and the epic 1958 classic, Warlock-was the Faulkner of the western, whose language was far richer and whose plots were far more complex than anything you'd find in the works of hacks like Louis L'Amour. Hall was too good to be considered simply a genre writer-but, sadly, that's where he's been relegated today, with most of his novels long out of print. Be that as it may, his namesake band is playing a free show together with the Cunts (speaking of band names), this Sat., Jan. 25, 9 p.m., at Pete's Candy Store, 709 Lorimer St. (betw. Frost & Richardson Sts.), Williamsburg, 718-302-3770.

Hula just might be the best New York rock band you've never heard of. With the range of Yo La Tengo and the dreaminess of a David Lynch score, they've formed a loyal-at times downright evangelistic-following over the last year. We've seen them howl and smash their guitars on numerous occasions, but suspect that upon their return to the Mercury Lounge this Sat., Jan. 25, they'll choose to let the reverb ring. Come hear the gospel before the A&R people snatch it up and start selling it in stores everywhere. With fellow formidable indie rockers the Mendoza Line, Bee & Flower and the Burnside Project. 217 E. Houston St. (betw. Allen & Ludlow Sts.), 260-4700; 8:30, $10.

One of our favorite plays is being given a welcome revival by Scott Elliot's New Group this month and next: Trevor Griffiths' 1975 Comedians, about a sad little group of standup wannabes who come together to sharpen their skills and learn wisdom at the feet of a retired music-hall performer. It's one of the lesser-known gems of postwar British theater. Griffiths was the least overtly political of the earnest generation of playwrights that succeeded John Osborne, and this is his best play. Don't look for a lot of laughs, though. Where Osborne wrote about angry young men, Griffiths (like his contemporaries, David Edgar and David Hare) were angry young men. Here Elliot, who often does so well with Mike Leigh's working-class characters, directs a cast that includes Jim Dale, David McCallum and Allan Corduner (he played Sullivan in Leigh's Topsy-Turvy). Through Feb. 23 at the Beckett Theater, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 279-4200; Tues.-Fri. at 8, Sat. at 2 & 8, Sun. at 3, $50.

A far cry from well-publicized gorge fests like the Nathan's hotdog-eating contest, which draws competitors all the way from Japan, and San Gennaro's cannoli-eating contest, Ben's Sixth-Annual Matzo Ball Eating Contest is a bit more underground and harder to stomach. On Tues., Jan. 28, Jews and gentiles, who have reached this point after weeks of grueling regional qualifiers, compete for a $2,500 P.C. Richards gift certificate by consuming as many matzo balls as possible in five minutes and 25 seconds. Which, as anyone who has had Passover seconds knows, is quite an accomplishment. Watch with equal parts disgust and fascination as contestants open their mouths for heaps of chicken-broth-boiled balls made from oil, egg and matzo meal to benefit the Interfaith Nutrition Network. Ben's Kosher Deli, 209 W. 38th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 888-344-BENS, www.bensdeli.net; 10 a.m., free.