Jersey comes to Manhattan.

Now that the tabloids have wiped their chins after the first wave of blowjobs for the new Time Warner Center at Columbus Circle, we'll admit to hearing good things about the new $1.7 billion shopacropolis. There's Williams-Sonoma, Whole Foods and a most fabulous selection of chocolates at Godiva?all under one roof!

But how can we admit to our parents that our new fave shopping destination is?dare we say it??a mall?

Kenneth Himmel, the center's developer, has come to the rescue. He, too, believes that the word "mall" implies "an antiseptic reference to suburbia" and it "doesn't do justice to what this is." The Time Warner Center is, rather an "urban retail center." The center's PR rep, Alan J. Segan, has Himmel's back: "I didn't hear the word 'mall.' I don't want to hear that word."

Umm. What?

Publicists and architects, listen up: In this post-dotcom era, a good many New York City residents are of the type that likes malls. In fact, they seem to prefer malls. Blame their hinterland upbringing; blame their expensive boots that were not made for walking. Blame it on the rain, misters Himmel and Segan.

Just stop lying to yourselves. The Time Warner Center is a 350,000-square-foot enclosed shopping center?which makes it a Jersey-style mall.

Oh, and along the lines of stretching definitions while hanging out at the Time Warner Center, kudos to the Philadelphia Inquirer's Miriam Hill for manufacturing a local hook for the Center's grand opening party with this unusual graf: "At times, it seemed as if at least half of the estimated 5,000 guests were from Philadelphia or went to school there. Among them was Kevin Bacon."

Umm. What?