Ive fallen in love with a 24-year-old virgin Ive ...
?Like Two Virgins
That she's been hanging onto that hymen for this long and is waiting until New Year's Eve to rid herself of it leads me to believe girlfriend's got some serious Harlequin Romance-level expectations for her deflowering. That's an ass-load of unnecessary pressure for both of you. I advise she forget about harp-toting cherubs and knights in white satin and start working on some stretching exercises, pronto. Get those inner thigh muscles elongated and bust that ass and ab region. Yoga would probably be a sound course of action, but I hesitate to recommend anything that entails dragging an ugly plastic mat around with you in public.
The first thing you should both come to grips with is that most women's first time sucks ass. (I'm not talking literally; put off rimjobs for a later date.) If she can manage even an okay deflowering, she'll be one up on most of us.
I've always heard about the mythical bleeding virgin, but have never actually met one. My first boyfriend thought I was lying about my chaste status because of the lack of gore. But really, that hymen could've been busted any number of ways?doing the splits during my extremely brief Nadia Comaneci-wannabe period or galloping along on Sparky the trail horse at girl scout camp. Remember, even if there's no red evidence, unless she's been jamming dildos, fists and/or produce up in there for practice on a regular basis, it'll probably still hurt. Which is why patience, communication, a lot of foreplay and a giant tub of lube are essential.
Being her first time and all, it might be tempting to plug her bareback, but use a condom. Inexperience is no excuse for stupidity. As she's the one who's going to be in pain, let her set the pace. There's no hard (heh heh) rule for how long in-between?you can go at it again as soon as she feels up to it. I think it took me about five minutes to be ready for round two. Good luck.
I am an approaching-40 wife and mother with no passion in my marriage. I love my husband and have been married to him for many years, but sex (which I almost always initiate) is very rare, and is usually short, sweet and unsatisfying. I've tried talking to him about it, setting up date nights, wearing sexy lingerie, giving massages, suggesting different positions, leaving hints, ignoring him, joking with him, talking to a counselor, writing letters, giving him compliments. So many things, maybe too many things, to which his response never changes. I feel like every day I'm fading away inside. I don't feel I'm unattractive?I take pretty good care of myself and stay in pretty good physical shape. But my husband makes very few attempts to show me physical affection. I don't believe he is having an affair, but I know anything is possible.
The big scary problem: I have a friend (married) I am becoming increasingly attracted. It's mutual. We have come dangerously close to having an affair, but have managed to avoid it so far, though it's difficult. I'm trying to stay faithful. I try to keep myself in line, but I feel a need so intense that it is getting harder and harder to ignore. In short, the thing I want most is to be naked with this man, have hot, wild, unbridled, exhausting sex with him.
I have never been in this situation before. I have always thought I was a decent person, but this is making me feel like I am despicable.
?Thirsty Wilting Flower
I think the real big scary problem is sitting on the sofa, drinking beer and watching tv when he should be busy going down on you. It sounds like you've tried every possible solution to your dilemma and nothing's changed, which is why you've fixated on Mr. Married. Though they're obviously related, you have to separate the two problems.
Obviously, you need to leave this load. I realize this is a drastic solution, but most people who write me know the answer to their question, and you're one of them. You gave it a shot, it didn't work; move on while you're still cute and relatively young. Maybe busting a big move will spur your husband out of his stupor, but probably not. Whatever the outcome, I don't see how it could be worse than what you're going through now.
As for shtupping Married Guy?that's a lazy and dishonest way to end your marriage. Two spurned spouses means someone is bound to find out, then all manner of painful dramatics ensue and you'll only end up feeling worse about yourself. Plus, if you end it now, it'll be all your husband's fault! (Immature, yes; satisfying, also yes.)
Of course you're flattered and moist for the guy who's drooling over you, but I doubt you'd feel the same way if you were getting a regular dose from hubby. Once you're disengaged from the dynamo you stumbled down the aisle with, you'll be shocked at how many single leg-humping hotties are running around out there.
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