I have a terrific, cute boyfriend who also happens to ...
I have a terrific, cute boyfriend who also happens to be well-endowed. A bit too well-endowed. I'm only five-two and I just can't accommodate him comfortably during sex. We've tried lube, different positions, etc., but he's just too much. He has been super-understanding, but I can tell he's getting a little frustrated. As am I.
I was discussing my problem with a girlfriend and she half-jokingly suggested that maybe she could help out. I replied (a quarter-jokingly) that I would discuss it with BF and get back to her. I haven't discussed it with BF yet, but frankly, I'm intrigued and turned on by the idea.
I know! I know! A three-way is like playing with fire. But I firmly believe that if men aren't getting something they want in the bedroom, they'll get it somewhere else-eventually. This way BF will get laid properly and I'll get to control with whom and the setting. And I like said, the idea of a three-way is a turn-on for me. So, why not? Am I a complete idiot for even considering this?
-Adi
You may be an idiot. Then again, you may be a guy. Your letter reads like you're a dude, trying to trick the Girl of Date into endorsing this hare-brained scheme so you can use it as leverage with your girlfriend. Follow me? Maybe I'm just a suspicious gal by nature, or perhaps I feel this way because your so-called "solution" doesn't make any sense. If my man's gigantic love muscle were causing me pain, I'd be looking for advice on how to alleviate said pain and/or accommodate said schlong. I wouldn't be nattering on about bringing my buddy into the situation. That's the kind of nonsensical conclusion that only a guy-and not a very clever one at that-would jump to.
There's nothing wrong with a three-way. If it gets everyone hot and bothered, by all means go for it. I just don't see how that would solve this particular dilemma.
Women need to be placed on pedestals? Plain and simple. With caution?and balance. I love nothing more than to nurture a woman's emotions and be more interested in how she is feeling, than to ramble on about my life, during conversation.
Believe me? I know all about myself? Men need to concentrate on nurturing the beautiful gender?emotionally and physically. It is a full circle thing we men want. Not just dick stuff. We have hands for that. And showers. (Hint: unfulfilling.)
There is nothing-I repeat-nothing more fulfilling, than for a guy to spend days, nurturing her by going places, movies, travel, etc., and then going down on her?when she is ready?for three hours and enjoying her cum all over your mouth and knowing she is sooo satisfied, in every way.
Asking her about her emotions during this sensational feast with your woman, that this is why more silly supermarket stands should get off this stupid non-ending b-shit with the "23 ways to make her desire you" or "26 ways to make her orgasm more." Puh-leez!
GUYS: LISTEN TO HER. Compliment her hair?beauty?nails just done at the salon. In passing?no stupid slobbering.
GO DOWN ON HER. For more than five minutes. (Two hours is okay!)
Then go out to dinner. Hold her hand. (Only if she wants to.) Couple flowers afterwards okay?Not a dozen!
No forcing? You will not die. Oh, a lot of women love anal sex?coupled with true emotions. And lots of KY. They love it. And they like to perform it on their men? Go slow girls? We are gentle creatures! Not!
Just teasing. (About the gentle part!)
-Michael
Listen closely, Ellipsis King-I'll tell you what women want: We want a fella who knows from punctuation. We want a gent who spells "come" correctly. We want a guy who knows when to shut his pie-hole, but most of all we want a man who doesn't get on our nerves-which would automatically eliminate you from the running.
We don't want anyone gnawing on our nether regions for two hours, because news flash-if it takes you that long, you obviously don't know what you're doing down there. We don't want some jackass pestering us to let him "nurture" our "emotions." (Gross!) Nor do we need some idiot putting us up on a pedestal. You and your hemp-eating, bullshit-spouting, Birkenstock-wearing, yucky newage (pronounce it "sewage") brethren make me wish I dug chicks.
But good on you for coming out against forcing a woman into sex. Very enlightened. Blech.