Great Pumpkin Panic, Charlie Brown!

ON TOP OF NEWS of the flu vaccine shortage, which already has government officials, medical professionals and thousands of panic-stricken New Yorkers in a frenzy, comes news that this summer's floods have destroyed much of New Jersey's pumpkin crop.

Just two weeks prior to Halloween, this news is equally devastating to New Yorkers. Not only is there already evidence of price gouging by local sellers, but also of a growing pumpkin black market, operating out of shadowy store fronts and basement apartments in all five boroughs.

The shortage may not pose the same kind of threat reportedly confronting the elderly who can't get flu shots, but these are indeed very dark times for another local population.

We're talking, of course, about pumpkin smashers-those teenage roustabouts who wait all year for their chance to snatch jack-o-lanterns off the porches of unsuspecting families, only to smash them in the streets a block or two away.

Fearing the shortage might well lead to jack-o-lantern scarcity, seasoned pumpkin-smashers in Brooklyn and Queens were seen lining up early outside bodegas and greengrocers, some waiting as long as five or six hours to get their hands on pumpkins of their own, which they planned to smash in the days surrounding Halloween.

There were scattered reports of jostling and short tempers in the often block-long lines, but no injuries were reported, and the teens for the most part remained orderly.

"It's not exactly the same, I know," said a 16-year-old Carroll Gardens resident who asked that his name not be reported. He'd been lucky enough to get his hands on a 15-pounder. "Smashing my own pumpkin ain't the same as smashing some stranger's pumpkin. But we gotta do something, right?"

Asked if he planned to carve it into a jack-o-lantern beforehand, the teen replied, "Probably. But don't tell anyone. They'd think I was queer or something."