George Tabb Is A Bad, Bad Boy

Well, baby, have I come a long way. The bullying actions of our government remind me of the Mongol invasions of the Islamic world almost 800 years ago, where far more culturally advanced and older civilizations were invaded and brutally destroyed by barbaric, nomadic simpletons. We have become the modern day Mongols, attacking countries that we know can't hit us back (a sure sign of cowardice), forcing our ignorance upon them. Most Americans couldn't name the capital of California or tell you what significance the Maginot Line played in world history. But ask them anything about Jerry Springer, or about how those Yankees are doing, or anything about Monica Lewinsky, and I bet you'll get an answer. Japan, a nation with half our population, produces twice as many scientists a year as we do. We have the highest murder rate in the world. We are richer than any other nation, but we are the only country that doesn't supply its citizens with health insurance. The mere mention of Madeleine Albright, Janet Reno or Bill Clinton is enough to make me vomit. (Nero fiddled while Rome burned. Bill screwed while Washington crumbled.) Donald Trump and Oprah Winfrey were, and might still be, thinking of running for president. Remember, you get the country you deserve.

Joe Colagreco, Cliffside Park, NJ Set Point Dear George Tabb: Hi, "Olga" here. Or "RuPaul." Or "Dino-Dyke." What else did you call me? Oh yeah, "washed-out chick with a dick" ("Music," 11/10).

In case you're still retarded, it's Natasha, from Natasha & The MGB, and I want to see if you have the balls to print this letter and what really happened at Arlene Grocery on Metal Karaoke night. You made it sound like poor victim George was just paying a lovely girl some compliments over the mic. In truth, you totally humiliated the "Virgin Mary" by fingering her to the crowd like some sort of dumb bimbo. You were annoyed because she didn't find your lame come-on cute, so you let her have it in front of a roomful of people. She was so mortified and embarrassed that she was practically crying, you asshole. If your girl had been there I wouldn't have had to bitch-slap, punch and hit you in the head with the mic three times. (I love how you skipped mentioning that part and pretended I wasted time with that little girl hopping around with the clipboard. You didn't "break us up." I finally left the stage because you were so pathetic as you cowered behind her that I couldn't reach you anymore, and I don't hit girls, only guys who abuse them, like yourself.)

Anyway, I never even would have had a chance to get to you if your wife Wendy had been there, because she would have been smearing your ass all over the stage already. As for your "biggest mistake of the night," which is what you called your apology?what a joke. You were so patronizing and sarcastic about it that you seemed an even bigger dick than before. I heard all the shitty stuff you said about me and my friend as we were leaving. You yelled that my breasts were "really ugly" and that I was "just jealous" of her "big tits." You used language like "slut" and "whore" and "cheap." Did we deserve that, George? Because I know you deserved to get your ass kicked by the pack of guys (not girls?you wish, you idiot) who waited for you outside. I spent half an hour trying to get them to leave with me, because you weren't worth ruining my afterparty over.

As for "Susan B. Anthony nipples," I had to physically restrain her from returning with the can of mace she'd bought for you next door. Not because I didn't want her to mace you, but because it would have filled the room and gotten into other people's faces as well. You were already making them suffer enough.

Also, I love how you made it sound like some skanky, gross, "flat-as-a-board dyke" made you bleed. I think 36C is hardly flat, and if it is, well, I think small boobs are fine and I'm sorry you don't. I'm also sorry you resort to homophobic humor to put people down, as if, of course, only a dyke could make you cower. And I'm bummed out that you painted me as so unattractive when really all you should be doing is sincerely apologizing for acting like a fratboy who thinks doping girls up on roofies and fucking them unconscious is what they deserve. I feel sorry for your wife for being married to someone who degrades perfectly nice girls the way you did that night, and who then has to hear your poor-me version. She wouldn't have "killed me," George. She would have dumped you and then hung out at my party.

For your information, I was genuinely happy for you when I heard you had something to do with Spike Lee's last movie (even though when I saw it you were nowhere to be seen), because?even though we'd never met?it's great when New York City bands have something good happen to them in this Backstreet Boys era. I was actually psyched. I feel differently about you now, to say the least. And unless you publicly apologize with the same sincerity that you use to publicly shit on people, you better walk the streets carefully. I'm certainly not going to waste my time beating up on you again for being a chauvinistic girl-hating prick, but apparently, from what I've heard, numerous strapping young men feel very differently, and seem to have taken this stuff personally.

So far I have no reason whatsoever to dissuade them, either. So laugh it up, George, with your exaggerations and foul mouth. You're a lousy human being and you deserve bad things.

Natasha, Manhattan

The Turduckenator! If you're gonna recommend a place to get a turducken, you should recommend a meat market in Cajun country ("Soup to Nuts," 11/3). Advising people to buy their stuffed birds from Florida is like suggesting that they order their lobster from Nebraska. Hebert's (pronounced He-bare's) Specialty Meats in Maurice, LA (just outside Lafayette), is tops, and of course claims to be the originator of the turducken. The number is 318-893-5062. They'll stuff your turkey with alligator, duck or just about anything else you can think of.

Don't try to order a plain old turkey, though. They reflexively debone everything that passes through their shop. You'll end up with a turkey that looks like all the air's been let out of it.

Seamus Petrocelli, Brooklyn

Soup Bones What can I say? Taki's column last week was magnificent. Sorry to see from Bruce Laue's feature in "Top Drawer" that the British Parliament seems to be going the way of the U.S. Congress. I would think that aristocrats would be less susceptible to special interests and thus make better legislators than elected MPs, particularly those of the Tony Blair ilk. In America, on the other hand, we have the permanent campaign. As David Corn noted last week ("Loyal Opposition"), influence peddling here is just getting worse and worse. And thanks to a good economy and the public's becoming inured to corruption courtesy of the First Liars, politicians are flouting the law more and more openly and nobody seems much inclined to do anything about it.

Granted, I'm pretty out of the loop on things British, but I could never understand the British commoner's distaste for the upper classes. Why do they all seem to be so down on Prince Charles, for example? I think he's great. He's smart, he gets involved in many projects and uses his influence to push for things that he feels strongly about. I particularly like his interest in architecture. Plus, he has a sense of humor and can laugh at himself. So what's the problem? British people won't forgive him because he was born into wealth and privilege. Give the guy a break, for Christ's sake.

MUGGER mentioned the Nov. 12 New York Times editorial about Giuliani's sting operation to destroy cabbies who are afraid to pick up black males. The editorial said the Taxi and Limousine Commission needs to educate immigrant drivers about their "damaging and mistaken stereotypes." Mistaken? Tell that to the cabbies who have been mugged by blacks in New York, and to the families of cabbies who have been murdered by same. And then there was the assertion by a black guy in the "Mail" section last week that immigrants are biased against blacks because they pick it up from the white man. You hear this one a lot too. I got news for you, pal: there is racism overseas. Performances like the black kids on a school trip who got themselves arrested for shoplifting in Japan a couple of years ago don't help. And many immigrants don't like blacks based on their own experiences, though I know you'll never believe that.

Joe Rodrigue, New Haven

Brooklyn Pudlic I was overjoyed to read Samuel Delany's ("Books," by Bob Riedel, 11/10) thoughts on circumcision. So few people take the time to ponder this vicious practice! Mr. Delany's books are unknown to me. Science fiction was never my thing, but now I will eagerly seek his work out. Circumcision has also long been an obsession of mine. But unlike Delany, I have not had "many, many thousands of sexual encounters" (wow!), and so most of my research has been done in the Brooklyn Public Library, Grand Army Plaza branch. His adventures surely sound a lot more exciting than mine, I must say. One of my favorite books on our subject is The History of Circumcision from Earliest Times to the Present by P.C. Remondino (1891). It is a stridently pro-circumcision tract in a stiffly ornate style and draws references from Celtic books. This was his only book and, by God, it was gonna be good. He writes things like "the ways of the prepuce are dark and mysterious" and "no more zealous circumciser exists than the son of Islam." I both love and hate the passage (on page 161) in which he describes a grown man who decided one day to circumcise himself: "Securing the scissors, he wended his way unperceived into the recesses of his woodshed. The mental and physical anguish the poor man underwent, and what soliloquies he must have addressed to the rafters of the woodshed while making up his mind and screwing up his physical courage for the last fell act with the scissors, can hardly be described, as, in all probability, they were of the most rambling and inconsistent order." This wondrous tome is classified by the library as a reference work, meaning you can't take it out of the building. The dopey library staff, after a dawdling 20-minute or so search, will retrieve it for you. You won't regret it. By the way, I am attempting to finish a novel that has a major circumcision subplot. I pray Mr. Delany is not planning the same thing!

Samantha Silvers, Middle Village But Maryland Has the Mighty Blue Cra Re: George Szamuely's "Pat & The Pod" ("Taki's Top Drawer," 11/3). Norman Podhoretz, editor-at-large of Commentary, is not alone in smearing Buchanan with the charge of anti-Semitism. William Safire in his New York Times column of Sept. 16, also accused him of it (a fatal charge in this Holocaust-whipped country!), because Buchanan suspects some Jews have "dual loyalties," to both Israel and the U.S. Now, it's no secret that professional Semites like Safire and his (former) fellow columnist A.M. Rosenthal have been trying to silence and destroy Buchanan ever since he alone of the presidential candidates had the guts to say what Americans know in their hearts: the Israel lobby has way too much power in Congress, the White House and the media. Safire dismisses his "dual loyalty" as a "canard" generated by "anti-Semites." But the fact is, American Jews do have two countries. If Safire chose to, he could fly to Jerusalem tomorrow and settle into a house a Palestinian was just kicked out of. Samuel Sheinbein, the American teenager who murdered and dismembered one of his classmates, fled to Israel after his crime and was allowed to stay despite the state of Maryland's vigorous protests. Maryland and Israel are both tiny states, but one has the atom bomb and Uncle Sam behind it, and one doesn't.

With such dual privileges, wouldn't it be unnatural to not have dual loyalties?

Name Withheld, Hoboken

Russ & Daughters Appetizers I was surprised to read George Szamuely's eloquent defense of Pat Buchanan against charges of "anti-Semitism," considering the pusillanimous kosher conservative who runs NYPress. George, I am so grateful to you for your brave stand that I promise I will write letters in your defense to all the New York papers the next time you decide to pilfer some books or commit some other crime. Anyway, I think it's obvious to every rational person that Buchanan is no anti-Semite. Although the voice of dissent speaks timidly, the previously unassailable Jewish mastery of public opinion is beginning to crack. Even Buchanan's worst enemies, excluding the unscrupulous, hysterical media Jews, have spoken out to say that however politically misguided he may be, he is not an anti-Semite, although that was obvious to most observers from the start. Most Americans don't accept the Jewish definition of an anti-Semite, which is someone who doesn't do the Jews' bidding, and they're beginning to resent the vicious smear campaign against Buchanan, which has been perfected in countless previous attacks on innocent objects of Jewish hatred. Most Americans don't regard the publication of obvious historical facts (e.g., Hitler didn't have the ability to attack the U.S.) as cause for the personal political destruction of the author, just because those facts don't jibe with the Jewish version of history. With their venomous, hate-filled media blitzkrieg against Buchanan, the Jews, as usual, are overdoing it, but this time it is in full view of the American public, which is revolted by the sheer ugliness of Jewish goals and Jewish methods.

At this point in time we are privileged to witness the most recurrent event in history: the point where a host population gets fed up with Jewish exploitation and subversion and either expels or attacks the Jews. Someone should set up an office pool to bet on when it will start. Wait, it's already begun. A few synagogues were burned down this summer in California. Jews were also shot there and in the Midwest. How many countless acts of minor vandalism and harassment have been carried out in the New York area alone?

The revolution is beginning and the patriots are getting bolder. Rabbi Mermelstein, who is a member of Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership, recently wrote an article warning his people against their continued subversion of the majority's values, particularly the right to bear arms. The only logical outcome of that, he predicted, would be a backlash, possibly genocide. But the Jews can't help themselves. Our Bill of Rights continues to be assaulted by their radical shyster lawyers. Our culture continues to be polluted by their pornography and their filthy television shows and movies like American Pie, or the annual Miramax anti-Christian agitprop. Do you think Americans don't notice that the credits for these productions read like a page from a Tel Aviv phone book? Do the Jews think that Americans are not incredibly resentful that this powerful, obnoxious tribe works feverishly to take away our guns, restrict our First Amendment rights, manipulate our government and foreign policy, drown us in nonwhite immigration, destroy our traditions and indoctrinate our children in the dubious "Holyhoax" religion?

Recent events at the Brooklyn Museum illustrate the obviousness of the Jews to the feelings of their host nation. The Jewish museum director Lehman put on an exhibit of sickening and blasphemous art, including the famous Virgin Mary owned by the Jew Saatchi. How long do the Jews think they can get away with this? We increasingly read how Palestinians, Arabs and now Aryans are willing to sacrifice their lives in order to kill one or two Jews. Theodor Herzl, the founder of modern Zionism, said that anti-Semitism "...is an understandable reaction to Jewish defects." International Jewry should realize this before it is too late, but I fear that the old cycle is beginning to come full circle again.

NAME WITHHELD, Staten Island  

If Jesus Had Been Armed Those with weekly columns in prominent papers open themselves up to written lectures from people they don't even know and probably wouldn't want to, so here I go again. I've always liked J.R. Taylor's columns for his keen understanding of the hypocrisy of liberals and for his appreciation of junk movies. But Taylor, at last notice, was identifying himself as a Christian. Then what's with the constant vilification of homeless people? It's hard to tell if he's serious half the time, and even harder to tell if his reported misadventures are real and unexaggerated. But they have to be treated as such.

Mr. Taylor, Jesus Christ ordered his followers to feed the hungry, water the thirsty, clothe the naked, care for the sick and imprisoned, and open our homes to strangers. At one point he even said that entry into the kingdom of God depended on this (see Matthew, 25:34). Considering that these orders came from the son of God, may I humbly suggest that you get yourself some Jesus tracts, memorize a simple phone number (1-800-994-6494, the Homeless Hotline), part with some food and water or a few bucks, and give all of the above to some homeless people on a regular basis. I've been doing so on a salary that I'm sure is far less than yours, and believe it or not I haven't encountered a violent homeless person yet. Even the risk of doing so is no reason not to act. Do you think Christianity is a liberal religion that requires no sacrifices? It is a faith that rewards based on the individual Christian's commitment. Never mind the lame excuse that most homeless people don't want to help Christ to minister to them. That's our job.

I won't address your incident with the "garbage can man" ("Charmer," 11/10), since it's obvious that you went out of your way to escalate that altercation, even after the man was putting your wonderful garbage back (I've got three words for any "Christian" who can't wait to pull a knife, J.R.: Get spiritual counseling). But I compliment you on your getting involved to prevent the beating of the young woman. The willingness to get personally involved is even rarer nowadays than it always has been, and I share your commitment to it. But in my time I've seen a lot of blood, including my own, flow unnecessarily as a result of weapons brandishing. May I suggest that you take the relatively little time it takes to learn some nonlethal self-defense techniques (like those found in aikido or jujitsu), and have these as the backup for a pacifist Christian approach to things like stopping woman-beaters? We're supposed to at least try to be an example of peace and love to our opponent even as we're protecting the woman in jeopardy (the carpenter told us to love our enemies, remember?), and it's pretty hard to do that if we're slashing them or beating them to a pulp. I used to take glee in drunkenly fighting outside my favorite bar, and if I can mange the pacifist/nonlethal defense approach, anyone can.

Jack Seney, Queens

J.R. Taylor replies: My misadventures are sadly real and never exaggerated. As a conservative Christian, I judge?and help?people on an individual basis. And while I'm too busy to learn martial arts, I'll try to spend more time watching those Dick Tracy cartoons with Joe Jitsu.

 

U p The Irish Although I appreciate "Taki's Top Drawer" as a glimpse into the twisted minds of British expats and their cohorts across the pond, sometimes it's just too much to stomach (George Szamuely excluded, he's the shit). Sometimes, like last week's "The Crestfallen" by Bruce Antonio Laue, the efforts of Taki's coterie sound like so much self-important spew one overhears at establishments frequented by Englishmen and their dogged apologists. You know, the sort of retch-inducing nonsense that demands the interjection: "Yo, would you kindly shut the fuck up! Can't you see no one gives a shit?" Mr. Laue's piece, detailing Tony Blair's recent usurpation of hereditary peers' last vestiges of power, took an elitist Anglophile stand but masquerades a lament of England's formerly pristine but now corrupted history and freedom. "[P]recisely because [hereditary peers] are not elected...they possess an independence of action and latitude of thought that...safeguard the liberties of their nation." Actually, that's not really true, Bruce. This more accurately describes our Supreme Court, whose appointed members generally act independent of external politics and with wide latitude of thought. However, we elect those who elect our justices, and the appointees' descendants do not automatically assume their position. Hereditary peers exist as remnants of a predemocratic society, not legislative freedom fighters.

Laue's contention that if the offspring of our Founding Fathers enjoyed reserved seats in the Senate, then they would "act as a brake on the political machine that is the House of Representatives," makes for an especially poor and unconvincing analogy. The framers of the Constitution indeed designed our Senate upon the House of Lords model and, before the 17th Amendment, senators were somewhat akin to life peers. Nevertheless, Washington, who preferred "Mr. President" to "Your Excellency," and Jefferson, the chief author of the Declaration of Independence, would have been appalled at such a suggestion, as it would be entirely undemocratic and not conducive to equitable legislation.

Throughout history, many young men of noble birth may have perished "in conflict after conflict," but guess who died in far greater numbers and were often impressed into service? Why, the lower orders, of course. And guess whose greed, ignorance and wicked machinations created these conflicts time and time again? That's right, it was noblemen just about every goddamn time.

In addition, am I supposed to be sorry that now, after hundreds of years, the law may require lords and ladies to pay their fair share of taxes? Oh, woe is the aristocracy. Does Mr. Laue realize how asinine that sounds? People would kill to have these kinds of financial problems.

Royalty and aristocracy remain archaic and hindering entities. It's about time England evolved and affected Anglophiles relocated. Peace out.

Sean Corley Burke, Manhattan

How Could Anyone Hate Taki? Taki was not, as your front-page teaser states (11/10), mugged. He and his wife were instead the victims of a hate crime, though the assailant was not charged with such. Consider the facts: Taki, a well-known white journalist who writes on social and heterosexual matters, takes a walk in Central Park with his wife. Suddenly a black man in his late 20s accosts the couple, spits in Taki's wife's white face and punches Taki himself in the face three times, drawing blood, before Taki subdues him. The police arrive and take the attacker into custody. Apart from Taki's own column, the story does not make the news.

Now let's consider the incident in a different hue and texture.

Let's say that a well-known black homosexual journalist who writes on social and homosexual matters is walking in Central Park with his black partner. A white man in his late 20s accosts the couple, spits in the journalist's partner's black face, then punches the journalist three times, drawing blood.

I dare say this story would have been replayed on NY1 for days. (And if that news station had managed to get on tape the image of a white in his late 20s spitting into the face of a 50-year-old black homosexual, the telecasters and producers of the program would have gone into a prolonged ecstasy.) Pledging to civilize the Empire State if elected senator here, Hillary Clinton would have denounced the violence that intolerance breeds. And there would have been a civil rights march through Central Park, which President Clinton himself might have attended, vowing to make the park safe for people "who are different from us."

But in fact, Taki and his wife are the "different" people these days, different in the sense that they do not belong to a protected class. White, heterosexual and Christian as Taki and his wife are, the civil rights laws do not apply to them. They are fair game for any member of a protected class who chooses to spit on, assault and do even worse to them.

This is the contradiction inherent in liberalism: In their search for equality, liberals have created a caste system, similar to that which has existed traditionally in India; save that in America, the Untouchables are untouchable in a legally privileged sense: merely to utter an unkind word against them, never mind spit on or assault them, is considered a hate crime, and worthy of special punishment.

Taki is doubly fortunate: he was not arrested for having been attacked by a member of a protected caste, and he is still alive. Doubtless he'll keep out of Central Park from now on, having realized that the park is not a place where white heterosexuals are suffered gladly.

Kevin Beary, Manhattan

Smoke & Bombs Chris Caldwell's report on the freedom to smoke in Europe ("Hill of Beans," 10/27) and the assholish reply by Bobby Steele ("The Mail, 11/3) prompted my own Eurosmoke recollection: Galway, Ireland, is blessed with an abundance of pubs. On a visit in 1998, I noticed one called An Tobar ("the well"). The "o" in "Tobar" was the slashed-cigarette "No Smoking" symbol. It seemed that those who couldn't bear to be around smoke had their own bar and would thus refrain from harassing everyone else by trying to ban smoking in all bars, as we see happening in the U.S. How very civilized, I thought, and why couldn't there be just a little of that Irish tolerance and enlightenment in the allegedly freedom-loving U.S. of A?

I learned shortly thereafter that An Tobar had closed due to lack of patronage; I guess people who are finicky about tobacco smoke are also the kind who don't much care for alcohol. The point is that the antismoking crusade is the product of a small but vocal minority who are not so much interested in providing smoke-free spaces as they are in ruining things for those who might be perverse enough to enjoy smoking. I know lots of nonsmokers and even people who, for medical reasons, can't be around smoke, and none of them are as fanatical as the self-anointed spokespersons for "public health."

If Bobby Steele and his co-religionists are really interested in cleaning up the air we breathe, may I suggest they initiate a campaign against the internal combustion engine and fossil fuels?

And don't you just love it when someone in a band with a nihilistic, I-don't-give-a-shit name like The Undead turns out to be some oversensitive priss who thinks he'll survive Armageddon if he can just keep his system pure of all pollutants? It's so postmodern.

On a completely unrelated note, I enjoyed the grubby pathos of George Tabb's "How to Succeed in Oklahoma" in the same issue, until I made the mistake of continuing on to his music commentary and the line, "the best thing to come out of Israel since a missile aimed at Palestine." Tabb is scumbag enough to try to elicit sympathy when someone verbally abuses him for his ethnicity and then goes on to suggest that it's all right to bomb other people for theirs. Well, George, here's hoping there's a missile of some kind aimed at you!

Chris Sorochin, Brooklyn