End of the Weak; End of Wetlands; End of Chicago B.L.U.E.S.; End of the Line for Yellow Vans

"What those four groups basically represent is the true underground MCs who are still doing things on an underground scale," says Prolific, a member of Introduction 2 Insanity. "There are a lot of people who call themselves underground but are still making a lot of money selling records. These are some of the artists who are putting out records for the love of the culture. What you really have are just the hungriest groups out there all trying to move somewhere under one name, which is End of the Weak."

End of the Weak (a promotion company, not a crew?you have to keep it straight) has been doing hiphop shows on the Lower East Side for a year. They started out at the Spiral (now Abaya, 244 Houston St., betw. Aves. A & B, 777-7467), moved to Baby Jupiter (now defunct) and recently settled in at Pyramid Club (101 Ave. A, betw. 6th & 7th Sts., 473-7184), where they host an open mic rap night every Sunday at 10 p.m.

Along the way, End of the Weak was assisted by a local DJ named Joey Ty, a networker who got them in at the Spiral and helped out on the business end of things until he was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year. Joey's wake was held two weeks ago. "If he didn't get involved, I don't think we would be where we are now," says Prolific.

The night at Knitting Factory begins at 10:30 p.m., costs $12 and lasts until everyone is beat. Prolific and the rest of the End of the Weak guys are happy to have found a midsize venue for their shows, even though it isn't traditionally hiphop and it isn't on the newly gentrified Lower East Side.

"That whole neighborhood has two bars on every corner now, and you can't walk anywhere at night without drunk people acting the fool," says Prolific. "I remember back in 1992 when they had those Tompkins Square riots and it was all 'Die yuppie scum,' and now it's all yuppies."

...Speaking of which, Giuliani had nothing to do with this one?Wetlands (161 Hudson St. at Laight St., 386-3600), New York's premier catch-all venue for jam bands, emo and white-guy reggae, is shutting its doors next month. The club did not lose its liquor license or have a run-in with police; it simply fell victim to the ambitious residents of Tribeca, who have been turning their neighborhood into an upper-income paradise for the past two years.

"The building has been sold to some rich guy with 14 million extra dollars in his pockets," says booker Jake. "He wants to turn Wetlands into an office, and all seven floors into single-unit condos. Those are going to be phat pads, huh? Who needs a house as big as the Wetlands?"

The club's farewell plans stretch from Aug. 10?the first open date Jake had after finding out about the closing?to D-Day, Sept. 15.

"Sept. 15 is going to be a private party. Just bands and people who've worked here and so-called 'friends of the club.' There's going to be no live music that night. There is just going to be music playing that was recorded here," says Jake.

"But as for the rest of it, a whole lot of bands that played Wetlands either broke up or got too big to play here, and they're coming back to say goodbye. On Aug. 17 we have The Machine, the Pink Floyd tribute that basically broke up; on the 24th we have the Cannabis Cup Band with Rocker T; on Sept. 1, the Disco Biscuits." And yes, High Times will manage to stage a 2nd-annual Doobie Awards before Wetlands closes forever.

The loss of this place hits double because Jake had a nice downstairs lounge in addition to his upstairs club. If anything, it's the downstairs fans who will take a break from nearby Vinyl (6 Hubert St. at Hudson St., 343-1379, are its days numbered too?) to stick flowers in Wetlands' metal grating and get their photos taken by the Times, over the caption, "Club denizens mourn loss of Tribeca institution."

...Wetlands' folding coincides perversely with the end of Chicago B.L.U.E.S. (73 8th Ave., betw. 13th & 14th Sts., 924-9755) about 20 blocks north. They're calling it quits because of an expired lease, according to general manager Patrick Fibilia.

"The last night's going to be a blowout bash," says Patrick. "We're going to get all the people from all over the neighborhood and bring them down for a sendoff party: Jimmy Vivino, Hiram Bullock, Dana Fuchs and so on."

That's a pretty fantastic blues lineup; Jimmy Vivino is the guitarist from Late Night with Conan O'Brien; Hiram Bullock is one of the premier session guitarists in the country; and Dana Fuchs just sings like a bastard. The Chicago B.L.U.E.S. sendoff romp takes place Saturday night, with a $20 cover. All proceeds go directly to the Chicago B.L.U.E.S. staff, which must have the former employees of Coney Island High fuming?they had to wait two years to collect some money from a half-assed memorial show.

...The winner in this sad brouhaha is new neo-hippie hangout Tobacco Road (355 W. 41st St. at 9th Ave., 947-1188), which is already picking up bands that frequented Wetlands, notably Bernie Worell and the Woo Warriors (appearing Fri., Aug. 24). The bar has an open blues jam every Tuesday to sate those mourning the loss of Chicago B.L.U.E.S., plus, like any Hell's Kitchen spot, it has slumming hipsters, cheap scrungy men and schizos who just got out of the Port Authority Bus Terminal.

...Mini-Blurbs from a Friday night in Hell's Kitchen: I only managed to go to one place, Lulu's Parlour (499 10th Ave. at 38th St., no phone), but it was a doozy. Music that sounded like it was piped straight from MTV's rap show (whatever that's called now, "Yo! Balance Direct" or whatever) played to a packed house, as a woman hung off the bar pantomiming oral sex on a guy who didn't seem to notice. As I came in, I heard the bouncers talking on their two-way cell/CB devices:

"Be on the lookout, they are coming. They are coming in yellow vans."

"Yellow vans, check. Six yellow vans coming in."

I left two hours later, very disappointed. I didn't see any yellow vans or anyone who looked like they had the balls to arrive in a yellow van.