ED-Gilderman 31 Name: Justine Priestley Bartends at: Doc Holiday's, 141 Avenue A ...

Name: Justine Priestley

Bartends at: Doc Holiday's, 141 Avenue A (9th St.), 212-979-0312

Favorite Movie: A Christmas Carol (1951)

Hometown: Vancouver, BC

I try to avoid bars where people wear cowboy hats. Not the real country bars, you understand, but the places filled with guys whose idea of being Southern is owning a Wilco album, and girls who think they're stars just for jumping on the bar and doing a bad parody of Riverdance whenever the jukebox plays the Charlie Daniels Band.

An exception is Doc Holliday's. Unlike Coyote Ugly, it's not a national franchise riding on the rep of a terrible movie, and unlike Hogs-N-Heifers, you can actually get in the place on a Friday night.

The Pabst Blue Ribbons at Doc's are still $2, and the jukebox isn't limited to Kenny Rogers and Shania Twain. Most importantly, whenever I've been there in the last few months, the only person wearing a Stetson is the bartender.

Speaking of the bartender?

So when did you come to New York? I moved to New York two years ago after the most major fucking relationship explosion of all time. That was in Houston, Texas. But I'm originally from Vancouver.

Are you all about the country guys? I do like a lot of facial hair. My boyfriends love me right away, because the first thing I tell them is to quit shaving.

How about a large, Moses-like beard? [Laughing] No, not the Grizzly Adams. Just some soft fur. Also, for me, if you're not six feet or more, you're fucked. I'm not even going to talk to you.

So midgets and circus performers? No way. I once dated-I wouldn't call him a boyfriend-a guy who was six-foot-seven, 325 pounds.

Was it Ben Wallace from the Detroit Pistons? No. I once dated a black guy but never did again.

Why never again? He's the only boyfriend in my whole history that I can actually call an asshole.

What did he do? The first thing he did was grab my love handles and say, "Once we get you into the gym, everything will be great." That was in 1989, and I've been going to the gym ever since. He totally affected my self-esteem. Also, he said, "If you don't fuck me at least three times a week, I will have to fuck other people."

Really. Then I was having sex with him when I didn't really want to, and I was letting him do stuff that I didn't really want to do.

Like what? [Inaudible]

Yikes. Yeah.

But some people might wonder why the jerk in your life gets to have sex with you three times a week and do that other stuff while the nice guy who loves you doesn't. Because the other guy ruined me! Here's a guy-and forget the whole racial thing-who doesn't care if his girlfriend is miserable while they're having sex. I was faking orgasms the whole time. I was pretending to be turned on just so he would come faster and leave me alone!

Wow. On the first date he was like, "You're too fat."

But the guys reading this might think he was on to something because he manipulated you into what he wanted. Not me, of course, but- I cheated on him and didn't tell him. Then he cheated on me. So really the whole thing was just shit.

Different topic. Okay.

Dancing on the bar looks like it's a fun part of your job. It's a performance. I look at this as an off-off-off-off-off Broadway show. I put on my hat and my belt buckle, and I'm doing a show. I'm singing, I'm dancing, I'm laughing, I'm friendly even when I don't feel like it. It's a show.

Do you ever get tired of some of the songs? Not really. I love "You Never Even Called Me By My Name" because I love teaching people to sing it and then giving them a free beer when they figure out the words.

What do you listen to at home? In my stereo there's 80s music. I love George Michael.

That's not very country. I will say country has grown on me. I discovered Lyle Lovett here.

You're only here on Sundays but you seem to enjoy it. I love the East Village. I love this place. It's a real grassroots joint. o