Dismemberment Plan; Dave Chappelle at Carolines; Joy Saturdays; "Edward Weston and Margrethe Mather: A Passionate Collaboration"; Buckwheat Zydeco at SOB's; Zelig; Flusser's Dressing the Man; The Dog Show; Kiss Off: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart

Whether getting laughs by pointing out the intricacies of ordering from NYC weed-delivery guys in Half-Baked or asking the car-seat-dancing white girl in the Mitsubishi commercial, "What the fuck are you doing?" on his new Comedy Central show, Dave Chappelle receives sincere laughter and devoted admiration from legions of fans. Now you can see him live, Fri.-Sun., Feb. 7-9, at Carolines on Broadway?as part of the Black History Month Comedy Festival?where no popular reference will be safe. He's come a long way from doing bit parts in movies such as Mel Brooks' Robin Hood: Men In Tights. 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; Fri. & Sat. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., Sun. at 8 & 10; $40 + 2-drink min.

If you take Missy Elliott's advice to heart and work it on the dancefloor, then you must check out SBNY's Joy. This weekly Saturday night party?the brainchild of Taylor Calvoni, with Amanda Lepore as the host?features a rotating cast of DJs spinning the hiphop, funky house and long pop remixes that pack the hot guys in every week. DJ DeMarko and DJ Ziggy will spin this Sat., Feb. 8, from 10 p.m. till 6 the next morning. We love the club's extended hours, especially since the gorgeous men become a little more, um, friendly?in the morning. Arrive before 8 p.m. and you can catch the always intriguing and sometimes bizarre Kenny Dash Show, which promises a smattering of drag performances, stripping and who knows what else. Our favorite part? SBNY's two-for-one happy hour, from 5 to 8 p.m. 50 W. 17th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-592-3032; $12 before 1 a.m.

AXA Gallery's newest exhibit traces the relationship of two great American photographers, Edward Weston and Margrethe Mather. They collaborated creatively, were founding members of the Camera Pictorialists of Los Angeles and were occasionally lovers. "Edward Weston and Margrethe Mather: A Passionate Collaboration," which opens this Sat., Feb. 8, showcases b&w and sepia-tone prints and examines Weston and Mather's work "before and after World War I, as photography teetered back and forth between pictorialism and modernism." Although Weston is better-known, it was actually Mather who was the mentor. The exhibit's curator, Beth Gates Warren, authored a book, which includes an additional 20 prints. 787 7th Ave. (51st St.), 212-554-2015, www.axa-financial.com; Mon.-Fri. 11-6, Sat. 12-5, free.

Rural Louisiana culture enjoyed a streaking moment of national popularity in the 1980s before the lifestyle of exurban New Orleans settled down into backwoods irrelevance. What the fad left behind was "Cajun-style" potato chips and that commercial with the swampman saying, I gar-on-TEE! But the Cajun rage did produce at least some lasting value: it brought the joyous rhythms of zydeco music to an audience outside of Lafayette, LA. One of the best of the bunch is Buckwheat Zydeco, a romping-stomping-washboard-scraping menage, who bring their party-down music to SOB's on Fri., Feb. 7. Les bon temps will roulez, cher, and that we can gar-on-TEE. 204 Varick St. (Houston St.), 212-243-4940; 8 & 10 p.m., $25/$20 adv.

We know we're in quite a minority here, but Zelig remains, without question, our favorite Woody Allen film. Technically brilliant and goofy as hell, Allen's 1983 mockumentary explores the life of a forgotten Jazz Age icon?Leonard Zelig, the human chameleon?who just wanted to be liked. Cinematographer Gordon Willis places Allen's Zelig into archival footage alongside the likes of Charlie Chaplin, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Adolf Hitler?while straight-faced intellectuals like Saul Bellow and Susan Sontag comment upon what Zelig "meant." Zelig screens this Mon., Feb. 10, at 7 p.m., as part of the Center for Jewish History's "Jewish Humor in America" series. 15 W. 16th St. (5th Ave.), 917-606-8200; $7, $3.50 st./s.c.

"I pretty much blend in? I mean I've been to New York to visit you seven times, nobody takes me for a tourist," our brother states. "Not quite," we reply reluctantly. "But people ask me for directions!" he insists. "Those are other tourists," we counter. As a 25-year-old living in Park Slope once succinctly explained, "I'm a grown man, and grown men don't wear shorts." So if you're looking for a special gift (or hint) to offer visiting relatives, try Alan Flusser's Dressing the Man: The Art of Permanent Fashion, which Publishers Weekly describes as "heavily illustrated with photographs of dapper dans from Humphrey Bogart to the Duke of Windsor and drawings depicting neckwear, suit jackets, coat sleeves and trouser creases." For added effectiveness, go ahead and get it signed, big-city style, on Mon., Feb. 10, at Barnes & Noble, 240 E. 86th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-794-1962; 7 p.m., free.

Yes, it's more comfortable to watch the show on tv, with a row of Pringles and a root beer in your paws, but then you miss the hands-on fun of petting the entrants and observing their, shall we say, "focused" handlers. If you buy a ticket to the 127th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show for Mon. and/or Tues., Feb. 10-11, you get to wander the bowels of Madison Square Garden, pre-show, and see the doggies closeup. Despite what you may imagine, they're actually a fairly pleasant, not-too-hyper bunch. We're hoping the adorable corgi Ch Foxlor Shafrhaus Sammy Sosa, last year's best herder, returns, and that that puffy bitch mini-poodle, Ch Surrey Spice Girl, gets her comeuppance. Each day's events begin at 8:30 a.m., Best in Show is selected Tues. night, tv coverage is 8-11 p.m. both nights on USA; visit www.westminsterkennelclub.org for complete schedule. Madison Ave. (32nd St.), 212-307-7171, www.ticketmaster.com, tix also available at Garden box office, $31-$97.

We really could get our love life together, if we wanted to. It's not that we're hopeless; it's that we're a writer. All this seething and resentment is, really, research. Really. We'll be getting our misanthropic?er, literary?groove on early this year, at Housing Works Used Book Cafe on Tues., Feb. 11. They're hosting readings from Kiss Off: Poems to Set You Free, a best-of-breakup compilation. Poets Mark Doty, Marie Ponsot and David Gewanter will stick the knife in, while book critic Daniel Mendelsohn twists. Actress Julie Halston might try to put a pretty face on things, but we've long given up on looking. The downside is, we might meet a fellow loner. The upside is, it's free (with donated books "welcome and encouraged"), and, we're pretty sure, all those wasted candlelight dinners are tax-deductible. 126 Crosby St. (betw. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-334-3324; 7 p.m.