Book 'em, Mishka.

"Everybody thinks that it's all coke and pussy, but it's more like aspirin and ass-kissing," former Luxx booker Mishka Shubaly says.

It's 6 o'clock on a Tuesday, there's a guy using the Fat Black Pussycat's computer to peruse Craigslist's hooker ads, and Shubaly and I are drinking sodas and discussing misconceptions about rock-club bookers.

"Everybody thinks bookers make a shitload of money," he says. "That's just patently untrue. I made more money when I was bar-backing at Don Hill's."

The other thing is that being a club booker, manager or owner involves so much more than phone calls and counting cash. Steve Weitzman, perhaps the city's most accomplished indie promoter, sometimes works his own door at the Village Underground. Jeff Steinhauser is the last dude to leave Northsix every night. During door shifts at Luxx, Shubaly was spit on and sucker-punched in a dispute over $1. He was threatened with a screwdriver in a dispute over less than $10.

Shubaly, however, says he mostly enjoyed doubling as Luxx's doorman because it often gave him a chance to call bands on their bullshit.

"One band, as soon as I came in to work the door shift, they started talking shit," he says. "They were like, 'Mishka said this. Mishka said that.' I was like, 'You know what?

I don't think he said that, because I'm him and I don't remember it.' Then it's a 180-degree change, and they can't suck up to you hard enough."

Then there was the time the band Soundtrack played Luxx.

"They were rude to all of our staff," Shubaly says. "They were rude to me when I was at the door. They were rude to the bartender. They weren't tipping. They, like, let their friends in through the cargo entrance. I just took all their bullshit all night long. I'll always take as much as I can before I have to do something about it. I just think that's the best way to do it.

"Finally, it's the end of the night. I'd gotten through this tough shift? These guys were such little pricks. I was walking out with my girlfriend, to go home, to go to sleep. Their drummer flicked a lit match at my chest when I was walking, so that was it. I grabbed him by the neck and screamed at him and threw them all out on the street.

"I told them they couldn't ever play here again. Their manager called the next day and he was like, 'Yeah, I just wanted to apologize because things got a little messy, but I just want you to know that the doorman was a little mouthy.'"

Shubaly laughs.

"That was awesome," he says. "I couldn't have asked for him to do a better thing than that."

Despite the stress, Shubaly quickly became known as a congenial booker, who would actually engage bands in conversation and listen to their concerns. He turned Luxx into a neighborhood-friendly club by booking local bands and not charging a lot at the door. He recently left after a year and a half, not because of burnout, but because being around music all the time inspired him to focus on his own.

Shubaly's selling "about 90 percent" of his stuff, buying a van and going on the road for at least a year to perform his Tom Waits-like solo material. He also just got his MFA from Columbia and is doing some rock writing. He recently penned an hilarious story in the Jersey Beat fanzine about how a pal took a picture of a Stroke in the act with a groupie, and how Shubaly's former band used that photo in a flyer.

Even before he hooked up with Luxx, Shubaly was repeatedly one degree from fame. The Strokes opened for his band, who turned down a chance to work with future Is This It producer Gordon Raphael. Sam from Interpol set up that same band with its practice space. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs' debuted by opening for Shubaly's roommate's band. None of this has given Shubaly any delusions of success.

"I was talking to somebody the other day, and they were like, 'Man, I'm never going to be poor again,'" he says. "And I was like, 'You know what? I'm never going to be rich again.' I'm just ready to risk everything."

As for Luxx: The Knitting Factory's Matt McDonald is taking over, which will likely result in more touring acts and less outer-borough flavor.

"It is going to totally transform the character of the club," Shubaly says. "The $5 shows might be a casualty, which sucks, because Luxx is such a great space in such a great area. The layout of the club is just conducive to getting fucked up and making out with people you don't know and doing drugs."

Shubaly, though, wants a simpler life.

"People were like, 'Oh, what are you going to do after you leave Luxx?' I'm going to have sex with my girlfriend again! I'm going to watch tv!"

Also: "I'm going to see a show at Luxx tomorrow. I'll probably pay."