Bail bonds and bounty hunters.

If you got arrested and put in jail in New York City, you would want Christian Diez's phone number. Rikers Island and the other local hoosegows are not pleasant places, and even the most hardened of criminals?given a choice?don't want to be there. Getting you out of jail is Diez's bailiwick. He is the managing agent at Bail Yes on Sheridan Ave. in the Bronx and spends his days?and nights and weekends?bailing people out of jail.

"We're open eight in the morning to 10 at night Monday to Friday and every weekend," Diez tells me. "This business takes a lot of your time. I can't tell you how many books I've read waiting in jails for a body to be produced. Most of our work concerns criminal court, so jail and court is where you have to go."

Given his hours, it's a good thing that the 26-year-old Diez lives right around the corner from his office. "I love the Bronx, and I'm right near Yankee Stadium," he says with a smile.

How has business been lately?

"It always fluctuates. The beginning of the summer we were very busy and then it died and stayed dead until like the middle of September. Now it's starting to pick up again. I don't know if there was less crime in the summer?I don't think so?but I'm not sure why it slowed down."

His firm advertises that they "guarantee to get you or your loved one out of jail faster than anyone." Bail Yes also claims to be the only New York bail company that can take out-of-state and out-of-country property for collateral. A handy thing to know, as they specialize in narcotics and immigration issues.

There's plenty of competition up in the Bronx. Walk the streets east of Yankee Stadium near the courthouse, and you'll find storefronts advertising "fianzas"?Spanish for "bail." There's Associated Bail Services on 161 St., claiming to "Put your feet back on the street." American Liberty Bail Bonds, nearby, promises "Liberty and justice for all."

Posting bail is a specialized business that came out of the old English legal system of the Middle Ages; America adopted the concept in the 8th Amendment of the Constitution. In New York City, posting bail has traditionally been the province of shady characters and courthouse hall rats that would trawl the stairways looking for customers. Those days are over, and the bail industry in this city is now?for the most part?clean-cut and backed by the deep pockets of major insurance firms.

A quick primer: After you're arrested and arraigned before a judge, you will be held in jail, released on your own recognizance or released and asked to post bail to guarantee that you will come back for the next court date. The judge will set bail and depending on the mood of the court?judges are notoriously mercurial?you might have to put up, in cash, 10 percent of the bail. This is known as a Partially Secured Bail Bond (a Secured Bail Bond is personal property equal in value to the amount of bail or real estate worth twice that amount).

Those without the means to post bail call a company like Bail Yes, who for a 10-percent, non-refundable fee (less for higher bails), take on the financial obligation to make sure you appear at the next court date.

"I really like working bail because I truly feel I am providing a service for people. We post a bond, you have to come into the office every week and report to us. That is so we can see how you're doing. I can't rely on the courts because they will let me know too late that someone has skipped out. And if I don't catch the guy in time, I lose the bond, so we make sure you stay on the right track. Our service doesn't stop at bail. We help families, because if it is a kid, then he better be going to school. We give the parents support to help them straighten the kid out. In the Bronx they need that."

How many people skip out?

"That happens more times than we want it to. Already this year we are out over $200,000. In any year, we give up to the state anywhere from $300,000 to $350,000. New York State makes a lot of money off of us."

What's the toughest part of the job?

"Going to jail for only one bond is rough because you can waste a lot of time waiting for the Corrections Dept. to release an inmate. They clock in your cut slip [proof that bail has been posted], and then you just sit and wait for them to be cut loose. The jails are my competition, because I'll be on line and there will be five people behind me and they're not bail bondsmen posting bail for an inmate.

"[T]he worst problem is surrendering a body?that's what we call it when we bring an inmate back. Sometimes we see a problem and even before the guy's court date is up we will take him off the streets. No one wants them. We bring them to Rikers, and they tell us they aren't taking bodies. The judge that set the bail isn't in until Monday, and if it is on the weekend, what do I do?"

What do you do?

"If it's the first time the guy has gone off, we'll hold him in the office and bring the family in and try to work something out. But I can't hold him all weekend. Every case we take on is like shooting craps?you don't know what's going to happen. Most times we will give the guy a second chance, but the problem with that is, we give up our edge; now he knows that we will come looking for him and how we will do it. So if he wants to skip, he has the edge. He knows what places to avoid. It gets tough, and we have to turn down business. For every 10 bonds we used to write, now we do one."

Diez also enjoys working in the legal system and the respect he gets from a job well done. He has to know how each judge, court and jail operates.

"I walk in now and everyone knows me?from the D.A., judge and correction and court officers. I am trusted because I never put down on paper something that isn't true. I will never perjure myself for anyone."

And what of bounty hunting, the bastard child of the bail business?

"We try to do the right thing, but there are always bad apples. We try to do our own arrests, because all it takes is [kicking] down the wrong door, and the media is all over the industry. Bail bondsmen are made to look like the bad guys when it is mainly the bounty hunters that do wrong."

So, Diez does go out on the street with private investigators, and they do arrest their charges, but they try to keep it low-key.

"It's not so bad in New York, but Texas is wild. There are more bounty hunters in Texas than there are bail bondsmen. They walk around with rifles on their shoulders down there because it's legal."

The Bronx and Brooklyn are the best boroughs for bail bondsmen, Diez claims, with Manhattan and Queens the worst.

"Queens is so bad I don't even want to go out there. They make it so difficult for you to do your job."

With that, Diez returns to work. Given the rough conditions in the Bronx, his business will be bullish for some time to come.