Springtime forBillionaires
Those singin' & dancin' BILLIONAIRES FOR BUSH, who've never shied away from the simple fact that They Own You (and everything else), are bringing their latest satirical review back to Ace of Clubs beginning MARCH 18, with new songs, new sketches and new games to play. Spring Bling! also has a few special nights lined up during it's month-long run. Over St. Pat's weekend, for example, they'll remind us that beer ain't the only thing that's valuable and green. "The Scandals Night" spectacular will follow on the 25th, and the "Big Tax Day Blowout" closes the run on April 15th. But the other nights are OK, too-with plenty of surprises from the Billionaire Follies and those ever-lovely Heiresses. Now, you may be saying to yourself, "You know, I think the President is funny enough all by himself." That's certainly true-but keep in mind that the Billionaires aren't just about Bush. They're about Cheney and Rumsfeld and the new Supreme Court justices as well! Every Saturday. March 18-April 15. Ace of Clubs (inside Acme), 9 Great Jones St. (betw. Broadway & Lafayette St.), (212) 352-3101; 7:30, $12.
Don Siegel Paranoia Festival
Don Siegel worked in so many genres that he's recognized as a leading auteur director. Beginning MARCH 17, it's your chance to see where Sam Peckinpah came from. What isn't surprising is that Film Forum's 25-movie DON SIEGEL RETROSPECTIVE would focus so much on Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Dirty Harry. Those are the films he'll be remembered for, after all, and justifiably so, but I'm glad to see a number of his more obscure movies in there as well: The Verdict (with Greenstreet and Lorre), Charley Varrick (with Walter Matthau), The Big Steal (with Robert Mitchum) and the early JD film Crime in the Streets, with the always hapless Sal Mineo. March 17-April 13. Film Forum, 209 W. Houston St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-727-8110; www.filmforum.org.
Cine Francais Tous le Jour
The French may not be able to make a decent zombie movie (trust me on that one), but they sure can make those intellectual avant-garde sex comedies and those touching existential romances shot in soft focus. Hoo-boy, can they! They make a lot of them, too. And no one in the city brings them together every year like Lincoln Center's Film Society and their RENDEZ-VOUS WITH FRENCH CINEMA festival. This year, some 15 new French films will be screened, with actors, directors and producers on hand to talk, mingle and explain. If you're one of those people who loves French film (you know who you are), it's the only place to be. Through March 19. Walter Reade Theater, W. 65th St. (betw. Broadway & Amsterdam Ave.), 212-875-5600, $7-$12. www.filmlinc.com.
Three Very Good Shepards
Not only is Sam back in Wim Wender's latest, he's getting a little attention on the stage as well. Although it's stretching it a bit to call three plays a "festival," at least the Michael Chekhov Theater Company has chosen three of his best-as well as three interesting directors- for their SAM SHEPARD FESTIVAL. Simpatico, always a crowd pleaser, is a sort of detective story about a failing marriage set in the world of professional horseracing. Buried Child (one of my favorites) is about just that-the rural gothic story of a family trying to figure out why grandpa buried that baby alive all those years ago. And in A Lie of the Mind an abusive husband tries to figure out what it all means after leaving his wife with brain damage. It may not be laughs-aplenty, but it's mighty fine Shepard. Best of all, there are no musical numbers whatsoever. March 15-April 10. The Big Little Theatre, 141 Ridge St. (at Stanton St.), 212-868-4444, $18.
Blake's Vision, Set to Music
Who knew that Satan was bisexual? Well, at least that's how he gets his send-up in Benjamin Berney's musical version of PARADISE LOST: THE MUSICAL. If you're Blake's a little rusty then you may not question Sophia's presence either. No, she's not one of God's angels, she's the "feminine divine." In other words, she's the one who went about creating Eden for Adam and Eve to cavort in until they were cast out. Part comedy (the actor playing Death is going for a serious Alan Cumming impersonation), part dramatic opera, the show is also a chance to get some serious eye candy from all the BFAs romping around on the stage in partial undress its closing weekend MARCH 16-18. The Producer's Club II, 616 9th Ave. (betw. 43rd & 44th Sts.), 212-868-4444; 8, $18.
Shortlist
Wednesday, March 15
THIS IS NOW is a collaboration between Eric Bogosian and Elliott Sharp. What is now? It must be a lot of noise and blabber cuz that's what the pair promise with a "blend monologue/rant/verbal montage with music/noise/sound." It's the first time Bogosian has performed his own work since 2000 and it's the last night. Now's your chance. Merkin Concert Hall, 129 W. 67 th St. (betw. Broadway & Amsterdam Ave.), 212-501-3330; 8, $35.
Thursday, March 16
Somehow BETTYE LAVETTE has remained "undiscovered" all these decades. Sure, there are diehard fans that can say they've listened to her through all the lean years, but now, at 60, it seems to be the great soul singer's second coming. She's always been more of a song interpreter than someone desiring to pen her own work. Her latest album, I've Got My Own Hell to Raise, has her covering work by everyone from Dolly Parton to Fiona Apple. Although none of them were originally R&B or soul songs, LaVette takes them and shows what a woman with some experience under her belt can do. B.B. King, 237 W. 42nd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-997-4144; 8, $26.50 adv./$30.
Friday, March 17
Usually when a promoter lists a few headliners and concludes with "and many more," it's hyperbole. Not so at the 7th annual ALL-STAR IRISH ROCK REVUE, which lists an eyebrow-raising 44 participating singers. Big names this year include Michael Cerveris, currently starring in Sweeney Todd; Steve Conte, playing with his own band and the reunited New York Dolls; and Richard Lloyd of Television. The revue celebrates the Emerald Isle's contribution to the canon, with performers covering tunes by Irish rockers including Thin Lizzy, Van Morrison, Sinead O'Connor, Morissey, the Pogues, an up-and-coming outfit called U2 "and many more." Really. Also, count on a few traditional tunes, some interpreted in not-so-traditional ways. Count on it being one hell of a pisser. Just write Saturday off now. Bowery Ballroom, 6 Delancey St. (at Bowery), 212-533-2111; Doors at 7, show at 8. $20.
How do you fit jugglers, magicians, trapeze artists and daredevils in a tiny little Brooklyn art space? It's like that trick with the clowns and the small car-you just do. The BINDLESTIFF FAMILY CIRKUS returns to their Williamsburg roots with their Winter Cabaret with all of the above and then some. Oh, and if you show up in clown make-up, you're in for five bucks off the price of admission. Got your St. Patty's sad clown face ready? Every Friday through April 28. Galapagos Art Space, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Kent & Wythe Aves.), 877-BINDLES; 10, $15.
Saturday, March 18
If green beer and loud rock isn't your style, then there's always the WALL TO WALL STRAVINSKY marathon at Symphony Space. It starts early at 11 a.m. and continues until the horns can blow no more. Including theater, dance and film, along with music spanning the composer's career, the event is one way to pack in as much classical training in one afternoon and evening than most mere mortals can stand. Plus, it's free! Symphony Space, 2537 Broadway (at 95th St.), 212-864-1414, ext. 403; begins 11, free, Symphonyspace.org.
Sunday, March 19
If you think dance should be polished with a fun-for-kids narrative and plenty of politically correct "multicultural"movement, then COMPLEXIONS actually has a purpose. The world premiere of Dwight Roden's "Artifice" is described as a "colorful carnival of crafty characters." See? That's all you needed to get into dance-a Ringmaster whipping those beautiful bodies into shape. March 17-March 26. The New Victory Theater, 209 W. 42nd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Call for showtimes. $10-$30.
Monday, March 20
Leave it to the SLIPPER ROOM to make something as cheesey and desperate as a Monday trivia night a little more fun and exciting. Don't have any friends? No problem, quizmaster Noah Tarnow will even pair you up with (hopefully) smart strangers. Forget about JDate, here's a way to win prizes, wallow in your inner nerd-ness and find out if you're really compatible with that guy across the table. Cuz when he can't answer a simple question like which president had that big bathtub installed in the White House, there's no way he's going home with you. Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (at Stanton St.), 212-253-7246; 8.
Tuesday, March 21
It's difficult to predict what the hell will happen when Mintyfresh presents COCKTAIL, but it's also damn difficult to say no to a free night of comedy. Combining songs, stand-up and maybe a sketch thrown in for good measure, the evening's performers include Sheyna Ferm, Nate Kushner and Laura Mannino along with funny-girl (with instrument) Erin and her cello. Otto's Shrunken Head, 538 E. 14th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-228-2240; 8, free.
Contributors: Jim Knipfel, Amy Winn and Jerry Portwood.