A Kennedy Freakshow; Gore's New Disguise
Those Were the Days, Gramps; A Kennedy Freakshow
Where were you in the summer of '72?
I clearly remember one balmy night, riding on the LIRR in from Huntington to Madison Square Garden. We'd come to see the Rolling Stones, featuring Stevie Wonder as the opening act, and my friends Elena Seibert, Dave Cicale and I were not even frisked for grass as we slammed through the turnstile. The Stones might've been at their peak: Exile on Main Street, one of the band's three classic recordings, had just been released, and none of us had any idea that it would be the last start-to-finish Stones triumph. Wonder was in top form as well, finally shedding the "Little" in front of his name, and riding the wave of critical acclaim for his first adult album, Music of My Mind, which included the spellbinding "Superwoman." (Not that the early 60s Wonder had anything to apologize for: could you believe the pipes on the kid who sang "Contract on Love" and "Uptight"?)
The last time I saw them was at Shea Stadium in the autumn of '89, and it was fun: sitting with friends, drinking beer, chatting, with the rote greatest hits list providing sort of pleasant background noise. But they sure looked silly, with Mick prancing around the stage, Keith still flashing his skull ring and mugging it up with Ronnie Wood, both of them smoking while playing "Satisfaction" on autopilot, mentally counting the dough they'd net for another home in France, while the rapt boomer crowd and their children sang along with the lyrics. It was fairly pathetic.
You know what I'm getting at. It was a weird Democratic convention in Los Angeles last week, the first two days almost a disaster, with Bill Clinton giving a rousing?but instantly forgettable?speech on Monday night that once again was all about him and everything he's achieved since replacing that moron President Bush in 1993. Remember, it was Clinton who rescued the country from the GOP-induced depression, almost singlehandedly; it was Clinton who transformed Belfast from a religious war zone into a theme park; and it was also "The Man from Hope" who made the nation aware of hate crimes.
Oh, and he had a helper who was mentioned very briefly: Al Gore. Not that the Vice President's few important achievements were mentioned: his demolition of Ross Perot in a debate that was the turning point for the passage of NAFTA; his insistence in '96 that Clinton pass the bipartisan welfare reform act. That wouldn't play well to this group of quota-chosen delegates, a willy-nilly group of 60s burnouts, union hacks, rich Hollywood celebrities, environmental crazies and ancient FDR true believers.
Even the evenhanded David Broder, veteran reporter and columnist for The Washington Post, was appalled by Clinton's narcissistic speech. Broder wrote on Aug. 16: "To suggest that Republican economic plans might jeopardize the record prosperity of recent years, [Clinton] reached back implausibly to the 1960s. In a muddled passage about Vietnam, urban riots and assassinations?all of which happened on the Democrats' watch?he wound up suggesting that it was Richard Nixon's election in 1968 that killed what was then a record boom. For those voters who recall that era, it was the inflation spawned by the spending on Great Society programs and the military buildup in Vietnam that was the culprit. And neither one had much to do with the issues of 2000... Like too much else in Clinton's presidency, this final speech was ultimately a self-indulgent essay on one subject: himself."
Hillary Clinton preceded her husband with a dull speech, the only result of which was to remind viewers once again how overrated her alleged intelligence is. Her New York Senate opponent Rick Lazio?who's hiding something smelly, I suspect, by not releasing his tax returns?is an arrogant, ambitious lightweight, but he'll defeat the co-president, if only because she's so loathsome to a majority of the state's voters.
But Tuesday night in L.A. was twisted, as Hunter Thompson might've said back in '72, when he, too, was at the peak of his writing prowess. (Who would've thought, all those years ago, when Thompson was bedeviling the mainstream press with his mind-searing prose about the McGovern campaign, that Rolling Stone would, 28 years later, fall into lockstep with a censorship-prone prude like Al Gore?) All those English-toothed Kennedys ran around the Staples Center floor, appearing on cable tv interviews with fawning journalists, and a few of them even spoke from the podium. Rep. Patrick Kennedy was beyond the pale, championing the country's poor in his marble-mouthed diction, even as he has emerged as the Democratic Party's superstar fundraiser. He's no Bill Clinton in that function?the President selfishly siphoned off $10 million of Hollywood lucre for his library, when Gore and the party's congressional candidates could've used the dough more immediately?but croaky Patrick has the gift of bashing corporations when speaking to the press, and then pilfering their money behind closed doors. Grandpa Joe would be proud.
Bobby Kennedy Jr. enthusiastically praised Gore, claiming that the lifetime politician is the Earth's environmental savior, when Kennedy understands that that's not the truth. Kennedy went so far as to slam Ralph Nader in a New York Times op-ed column on Aug. 10, as dishonest a piece of work as I imagine his martyred father's namesake has produced in a long time. Kennedy knows better, but he's not allowed to stray from the family business, which means he has to support fraudulent Democrats, no matter what their positions are. I've always thought Bobby was the brightest of the third generation of Kennedys. He must have a hard time looking in the mirror each morning. He wrote that "Mr. Nader's candidacy could siphon votes from Al Gore, the environment's most visible champion since Theodore Roosevelt, and lead to the election of George W. Bush."
And further shilling for Gore, whose middle name is Hypocrisy, Kennedy said before the delegates that the Democratic nominee "will make history by validating our nation's legacy for world leadership and environmental responsibility."
Hey, Bobby, what's your opinion of Gore's financial stake in Occidental Petroleum and all the environmental atrocities the company allegedly carries out overseas? And if you really believe that Gore's nonsensical book Earth in the Balance is a plus for the (at least temporary) William Jennings Bryan/ Harry Truman clone, then perhaps your own wattage is closer to cousin Patrick's than I'd imagined. You're not allowed to say things like this in public, but surely you know that for ardent liberals, Nader is the only choice. Sure, a successful effort on his part will elect Bush; but it'll also destroy the muddled Democratic Party as we know it and force changes for the 2004 election.
And Caroline Kennedy, who to her credit is usually missing from these affairs, put on a brave front with a brief speech that recalled her father's nomination in L.A. 40 years ago and then introduced her Uncle Teddy. Caroline spouted some nonsense about the importance of public service?which was weird coming from this dignified and reclusive celebrity?but her main function was to let delegates get a good cry in and hum the theme to Camelot one more time. It was a little strange that she didn't mention her brother John's recent death, but the strategies for three-hanky moments, Democrat-style, are perhaps beyond my ken.
Kennedy said, in part: "Now, we are the New Frontier. And now, when many of us are doing so well, it is time once again to ask more of ourselves... We need a president who is not afraid of complexity [the standard dig at GWB], who believes in an open and tolerant society, and who knows that the world can be made new again?and that president is Al Gore."
Two points: Caroline Kennedy, like all the Kennedys, has always been doing "well." Second, I don't believe a majority of Americans want the world to be "made new again"; they're plenty happy with the way things are going. People just want an honest man in the White House who won't embarrass them.
It was also remarkable, looking at Caroline, how much she's aged. Unfortunately, at 42, she resembles a Kennedy more than she does her mother. Don't get me wrong, the hands of time aren't generally kind to anyone, and I'd put myself forefront in that category, but it was still like a cold shower to see sweet Caroline smack in the center of middle age, and?again?without the gorgeous mystery of the late Jackie.
Oh dear, I almost forgot. Also on that Tuesday night, relegated to the nostalgia portion of the show, Jesse Jackson delivered a tired, repetitive recitation to the assembled. He's simply not worth writing about anymore; this millionaire missionary long ago sacrificed any principles he might've had. It's certain that opportunism, from cradle to grave, is the bond that Jackson and Clinton share, rather than a genuine desire to lift up people less fortunate than themselves. It's no wonder that Gore actually lost ground in the polls after the first two nights, before receiving his expected, and sizable, bounce later in the week.
The clownish demagogue Jackson made typically irresponsible remarks about the Bush family in an effort to whip up the crowd?preaching to the converted, it wasn't hard?and perhaps relive his own long-forgotten flashes of rhetorical splendor.
Jackson: "Papa Bush is a nice man, a gentle man. But he chose Clarence Thomas. Baby Bush, the governor of Florida, is a charming man, a gentle man. But he dismantled affirmative action in Florida. George W. is an affable man, a friendly man. But he stood with Jefferson Davis and chose the Confederate flag over the American flag. He refused to offer leadership on hate-crimes legislation and wants to give the surplus back to the richest 20 percent to buy more yachts."
Thank God for Clarence Thomas.
Thank God for Jeb Bush's visionary governorship in Florida.
Thank God for the grace and civility of President and Barbara Bush, two model citizens who stand in contrast for Americans to the craven, me-generation Clintons.
And thank God for George W. Bush's refusal to cave into the politically correct notion of hate-crimes legislation. Texas is not a good state in which to kill people; you'll pay for it with your life. Liberals, who are against capital punishment, yet remain adamant about hate-crimes law, seem to think that some murders are more "hateful" than others. What a bunch of baloney. Murder is murder; rape is rape; terrorism is terrorism; and every single crime should be prosecuted. They don't need any fancy mustard to dress up the punishment.
Teddy Kennedy, who's long been a self-parody, was fairly pitiful onstage, barely able to move the audience with his windy words about healthcare. Give him his due: he's 68, and a hard 68 at that, and so his stuttering and stumbling over teleprompter lines could be expected. He doesn't have the juice that he displayed at the '80 convention after his loss to Jimmy Carter; he doesn't have the youth and charisma that might've, had he chosen to run, given him the Democratic nomination over George McGovern in '72. Pundits say that Chappaquiddick was too damaging that year, and so he passed, but I think it was a blunder. The assassinations of his brothers were still fresh, the apprehension about Nixon was palpable, and his sloppy accident of 1969, ironically, would've been less a problem than it was when he actually ran eight years later.
Anyway, Kennedy's conclusion was strange. In speaking about the future, he read from a speech that could've been delivered by George W. Bush, the candidate this fall who truly is looking forward to the challenges of the 21st century, instead of reverting to cheap populism like Gore.
Kennedy said: "This nation has always been a work in progress, and it always will be. We have it in our power to take America to new heights, to make this new century a new progressive era of high achievement for working families, a time in which all Americans advance together. That is our challenge. That is our new frontier." The Democratic Senator, now seeking an eighth term, hopes that 40 years from now, a future generation will look back at the year 2000 as a time when "America dared to dream again."
Bush couldn't have said it better. And with his platform that includes meaningful education reform, the elimination of unfair marriage and death taxes, the creation of a protective missile system, an unencumbered policy of free trade and a pro-immigration stand, it's clear that he's the candidate who will inspire this country's citizens to "dream" again, much as John F. Kennedy?who was closer in political philosophy to Bush than Gore?did a long, long time ago.
Wednesday night belonged to grinning Joe Lieberman, a man who's sold his conscience for about two wooden nickels, and was introduced by his drama queen wife Hadassah, who basked in the audience's applause and kept crossing her hands over her heart, looking to the sky, for what seemed like at least an hour. Lieberman mended fences with suspicious black delegates earlier in the convention by saying, "I have supported affirmative action. I do support affirmative action. I will support affirmative action." And then he opened his speech by saying, as if he were a black lesbian?which would truly break a few political barriers?"Is America a great country or what?" Well, Joe, yes it is. And you're certainly not the first Jewish person in politics to realize that. So knock it off with the bold-move-by-Gore shtick. And please, stop laughing at your own lame jokes.
The first three nights of the convention were impossible to figure out. For example, why was Robert Rubin, perhaps the most influential member of Clinton's cabinet, relegated to a six-minute speech in a crummy time period? Rubin, as opposed to Lieberman, is the man who embodies the message?prosperity?that could actually elect Gore. And, unlike Lieberman, he doesn't remind voters of Clinton's scandal-ridden two terms. The Connecticut Senator was potentially a valuable ally, but now, instead of being positioned as Joe the Conservative, he's been tokenized as Joe the Jew. An astonishing political mistake.
As the week wore on, Bush actually gained a few points in the polls. It was shaping up to be worst Democratic convention since Michael Dukakis' in '88.
I Stand Before You With a New Disguise
But Al Gore, faced with the most difficult challenge of his long political career, saved his bacon on Thursday night with a speech that was long on personality?for Gore?if just as long on Big Government populist gibberish. I happen to like Tipper Gore?even though the ghost of Frank Zappa will forever haunt the poor woman for her stupid attempt to censor the music industry in the 80s?and her introduction of the newly humanized Gore was a hit on the tube. How could it not be? After eight years of seeing Clinton and his wife barely touch, the Gores engaged in a racy soul kiss while the whole world was watching, a transparent if inoffensive reminder that they're faithful to each other.
Karenna Gore Schiff, an adviser to her father, might be a cutie, but her supposed brainpower was in scant evidence on Wednesday night. She's the star of the four Gore kids?Albert III, who'd been arrested in North Carolina for driving 97 mph just before the convention, was hardly visible?but her speech was a dud. Her task was to humanize the old man, but she came across as a pampered DC Valley Girl who spoke about cocoa and curfews and toast with lots of butter. She doesn't fit into the populism scheme. How could she? This is an affluent young woman who can't possibly relate to the voters her father is trying to con with his Big Government message. It was an offputting and naked noblesse oblige address.
However, while Gore at least temporarily shed his robotic image, which resulted in the temporary vault in the polls immediately following the convention?a not-insignificant achievement?his actual speech was really weird. What's weirder still is that Gore, who allegedly wrote the address himself, actually believes what he said.
In a sense, it was Gore's bar mitzvah, several decades too late. I found it pathetic that he had to prove his independence from Clinton by saying, "I stand here tonight as my own man." As if that one sentence absolves him from so many transgressions in the past seven years: his complicity in the criminal '96 Democratic fundraising; the cowardly loyalty he showed to an ungrateful Clinton after the latter was impeached; and his irritating insistence that he's a campaign finance reform champion?a foxhole buddy of Sen. John McCain?when he's raked in dough by the boatload from trial lawyers, Hollywood morons and Hamptons dilettantes.
Gore's faux populism is a "risky" strategy for the fall, one that puts a ceiling on his potential support. Most Americans don't feel they need a president to "fight" every day for them. The middle class is content with their 401(k) investments and the conveniences that the new technology has given them; they don't feel that evil corporations are denying them their slice of the American dream. In fact, while Clinton and Gore take credit for the economic good times, their administration has also prosecuted Microsoft, just one example of an entrepreneurial company that has provided employment as well as demonstrated that it's the American people who make the country great, not the government.
And what's with the class warfare? Gore spits out bromides against pharmaceutical companies as if they're pushing heroin. Does he actually believe that medical breakthroughs happen by accident? Does he believe that he or Bill Clinton had anything to do with genomics, proteomics or digital technology? Gore has a worldview that puts Big Government at the center. The real world puts ideas and imagination at the center and ignores the politicians, who haven't the vaguest idea of what they're trying to accomplish.
Peggy Noonan, writing in The Wall Street Journal on Aug. 21, was dead-on about the contradictions of Gore's appearance last Thursday night. "The pose was populist," she said, "but promised to be problematic: If you're going to wage class warfare you'd better do it with the passion of George Wallace or Pat Buchanan, and you probably shouldn't do it at all when the biggest demographic shift in America is the number of new investors."
What's scary about Gore's speech is that it was, at least in part, honest. He told Americans how he looks at the world: the problem is?and this is why there's at least an unconscious unease about him as a leader?that Gore doesn't get it. He's had all the advantages of being at the epicenter of intelligence flow, but simply misreads the data.
I suspect once the glow of Gore's human touch wears off, the polls will settle down and Bush will be leading at Labor Day by a few points. If the Texan doesn't get sidetracked by dwelling on Clinton's immorality and congenital lying?something the Democrats are praying for?probably the only thing that will deny him the Oval Office is a terrible series of debate performances. In the close election that most predict, that's certainly a possibility. But as any honest Democrat will admit, Bush is a much stronger opponent than any of them thought back in March.
A huge problem that Gore will face is the number of Democrats who want to butt in. Sean Wilentz, the remarkably tone-deaf Princeton professor, offered this advice in the Aug. 21 New York Times: "The impeachment of Bill Clinton is arguably the most important and traumatic political event of the last two decades. It is simply a disservice to voters for Democrats to let the Republicans get away with their not-so-veiled attacks." Sure, Sean. If Gore could relive one day as vice president, it would undoubtedly be Impeachment Day, when, in the Rose Garden, Gore lost his mind and outrageously said that Señor Morality would be remembered as one of the greatest presidents in American history.
Say hallelujah, Sister Donna! And just hope you get a nice golden parachute when Bob Shrum fires you from the Gore campaign.
August 21