The Shape and the Motion
Master control rooms around the world all look the same. Monitors, scopes, blinking lights (the more the better), bulletin boards covered in phone numbers and satellite locations, inappropriate material ranging from the pornographic to the just disturbing, and very, very bored engineers. In the US we watched sports or Fox News, the world's funniest newscast.
Here in Ramallah it is a steady stream of Al-Arabya, AP feeds of stomach-turning scenes from Iraq, Jerusalem, Gaza and the West Bank, and Arabic music videos filled with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of incredible looking Lebanese women. If your image of the Arab world is one where sexually frustrated men force women beneath hijabs, ten seconds watching full-lipped, curvaceous women gyrate while singing songs of love should cure you of that notion.
"That one is Egyptian, you can tell by her ass," says Friday.
"What about her ass?" I ask.
The guys laugh.
"The shape and the motion man, the shape and the motion" says Friday.
Friday has the habit of constantly bragging about his sexual conquests. Friday is the day of rest in Islam, when shops are closed and streets are empty. The guys call him Friday because it is the most boring day of the week. I don't get a nickname; I'm the American.
Everything is happening in Gaza, explosions, death, missiles, work. But there's no work here for us right now. So we wait.
Beheadings out of Iraq are a big occasion here in the newsroom. Whenever one happens everyone in the studio finds the relevant web sites and downloads the footage. There is a healthy level of disapproval, expressed to me incessantly, since I am the representative of the West.
"This is not Islam," one of the secretaries tells me.
"I know," I reply from my culturally aware up-on-high.
"No I mean it's really not. It says in the Koran that if you kill an animal you should do it with one stroke of a sharp blade."
"One stroke? Sharp blade?"
"Yes it's very important when you slaughter an animal that it doesn't suffer unnecessary pain."
"Of course."
"And look at the way they killed that poor man. No really, look at it, play it on Windows and look at it. See how they are sawing back and forth and back and forth. Turn up the volume."
"I see what you mean," I say over the sounds of the dying man's screams.
"If it is Harram to kill an animal like this; how can you kill a man in this way? One quick stroke."
"One, quick, stroke-I'll keep that in mind."
"Would you like some coffee?"
"I would love some."
It's moments like these that have certainly helped me bridge those chasms of misunderstanding between our peoples. Especially over coffee.
Coffee is very important. Talks are held over tea, but no deal is sealed unless it is closed with coffee. I doubt that they had coffee at Oslo.