Gawkers, Goo-Gooers & Worse

My guy always checks out other girls when we are out together. I wouldn't mind a once over, but he stares and even though I have mentioned that it is annoying, he still does it. It really pisses me off. Any suggestions?

-Pissed Off Pam

Most girls hate that. Trying to stop a man from gawking at other women is like trying to make a dog stop sniffing other dog's asses. You need to lay it on the line with your guy, preferably after a meal or sex, when he is in a good mood. Remind him that since you two are not together 24/7, he should feel free to gorge on eye candy as much as he wants when you are not around, but when he is with you he needs to tone it down. If he still drools over other chicks after this little chat, you need to either accept it as part of who he is, or move on. If I were you, I would rock his world before you even go out to take the edge off of his appetite and wear a sexy dress that keeps his eyes on you.

My guy really wants to have anal sex with me, but let's face it; it's a pain in the ass. Not only is it messy, but super painful. He is putting so much pressure on me about it, saying, "Most girls love it!" I don't want to lose him, but yikes!

-Carol P.

He is exaggerating. Most girls hate anal sex. If he thinks it is so great, tell him you will try it but only if he lets you ram a dildo up his chocolate starfish. (You wouldn't want him missing out on any of the so-called pleasure!) Men like anal due to the tight fit and because it's so naughty, but they don't realize how much it hurts until they try it. They think we all love it thanks to porn flicks, where the girls are getting paid to pretend they like it. Never do what you don't want to do, and if he doesn't like it, he can find himself a canal pal!

(P.S. Do not write me telling me how much your girl loves getting it up the ass. I said "most girls.")

I recently had my tits made bigger and I love them. Problem is, my gal pal likes to announce it to everyone we know and it really pisses me off. How can I prevent this without seeming catty or hurting her?

-Katie

Your friend is being insensitive; I wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings. She is probably jealous, or has nothing going on in her life exciting enough to talk about. Either way, before you two meet up, tell her that you want to be the only one to tell people about your new guns. If she still does it, embarrass her and yell, "I told you I would like to break the good news myself, you stupid bitch!" This should shut her up.

My girlfriend likes to use baby talk when we are having sex and is makes me sick.

I try to ignore it and enjoy, but it is so irritating I sometimes lose my hard on. She is super sensitive and hates to be criticized. How can I stop her from doing this?

-Byline tk

Try to bring it up while the two of you are driving; this way you don't have threatening eye contact, and she can't run off in a huff. If you mention this in bed, it will ruin the mood and she may feel like a cornered cat. First mention some things that really turn you on and that you want to try, then say, "By the way sweetie, I find lately when you do your baby talk that my hard-on goes soft. Can you try to save that for out of the bedroom?" She should take the hint that it is a turn-off in and out of bed. If she keeps it up, answer her baby talk in the most obnoxious baby talk tone you can whip up and she'll get the hint.